An Easter Story Lithograph

An Easter Story Lithograph

rev. 4/16/2017

Alleluia! He is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia! Happy Easter!

By now, I am sure that you know that the stone got rolled away from the tomb to be the base of the snow man and that the clothes of the angel didn’t just look as white as snow, they were snow, and Jesus saw his shadow this morning so that there will be six more weeks of winter. Oh, yes, there must have been some magic in the old silk hat they found, for when they placed it on his head he began…I’m sorry,…six more weeks of winter? It’s the middle of April! What was I thinking?  At times, I am such a blockhead. I have something much more important to talk about than silly old superstitious nonsense.

I have come to tell you about the joys of being a Christian stone, okay you might call me a rock. My name is Petros, it means rock, because I’m a little dense, hard-hearted you might say—rock, dense, hard, get it?

Now, if you are one of the people in the world who believe in reincarnation, then I might be your worst nightmare because this is where you end up when you haven’t succeeded in any of the other life forms you have known. Of course, if you believe in reincarnation, you already know that the afterlife is a punishment.

Let me tell you a secret. It’s not the case. Today I am here to tell you that I am one of the happiest rocks that has ever rolled down hill because it’s not true.

But before I tell you the news, let me tell you something about life as a rock. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. There are some rocks that are destined to greatness—Michelangelo’s Pieta and David, now there were some rocks stars that really made it. Then, of course, you know about Rushmore, and the problems those rocks have—constant cosmetic surgery; Lord, have mercy. They always have someone working on them. The stories I could tell you and the foundation makeup they use… I’m sorry, I get carried away.

Then there are the finer building stones. Some of them are so good that they get used over and over again. Some of my closest relatives started out in the Roman Coliseum and ended up in St. Peter’s Cathedral.

That’s a funny one, too. Peter is just Petros in another language. So really, it’s St Rock’s Cathedral, made out of stones.


Well, my friends and I thought it was funny.

Then there are the cobblestones. They’re another branch of the family who just lie around in roads, patios, and sidewalks—not great stones, but sometimes helpful. Some of them are tricksters so watch your step.

Me, well, I’m sort of common. Old Granddad Bluff said I’d never amount to much. “Lacks grit and polish,” he said.

I had dreams about greatness at one time, but when the sculptors came, they passed me by. They can be such chiselers you know, always looking for a bargain. When the builders came, they said that I was flawed; rejected again.

I was too big to be a cobblestone, too small to be a monument, too flawed to be much of anything. I was rejected and afraid that, like my dreams, I would be crushed. It is hard enough to grovel, but to be gravel?

Then one day a cryptcarver came along and sized me up, rolled me onto his cart, and carted me to the mausoleum he was building. I was going to be the boundary marker between the living and the dead. On the greatness scale, it’s not so much.

As I said, if you believe in reincarnation, this is about as low as you can go—not really in the world of the living, almost in the world of the dead. I thought, “There are corks that are better off than this.”

It didn’t take long. (At least in daylight rock time, which is an hour faster than standard rock time, so it didn’t seem like it took long.) The day came when they brought a dead man to put into the tomb. Then, they rolled me into place. A notch carved into the ground made it easy to sit there, but because of my flaws, I suppose, people came with clay and pushed it in around the edges. Then a soldier came and pressed the temple seal into the clay in four places.

That night I heard them talking. The dead man was Jesus of Nazareth. Some thought that he was a holy man sent from heaven to save the people from Roman rule, but he was just a man; and the soldiers were there to make sure that riots didn’t break out during the great Sabbath of Passover.
You never know what kinds of crazy things followers of these so-called prophets might do. Some people went so far as to say that he was the son of God. As if.

And then, it started. I thought it was a sigh at first and then a burst of air. It pushed hard against the sealed edges of the hole I was covering. It seemed as if the inside space was too big and had to come out. Like a giant sneeze, that came from somewhere deep inside the earth this breath of…of life came bursting out around me. Then everything started to happen at once.

Lightening started flashing, the earth started shaking, the soldiers cried for mercy and fell down on the ground; the clay seals broke apart, and I was rolling. I can tell you. There was a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on. And then, and then, Jesus, the dead man, walked out of the tomb and into my life; and this other person came and sat on me.

Two women came, and the person talked with them. “Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.’”


It was the strangest thing. I know that rocks don’t look very animated, but that day I was so proud to be Petros, the rolling stone, the rock, with all of my imperfections. In spite of the fact that I had been turned down for almost every job of any greatness, I, Petros, was the first to witness the amazing resurrection breath of life.


It was not reincarnation. Jesus did not come out as something less than he had been before, instead he seemed quite the same but somehow more. This rising from the dead was not a punishment to walk the earth, to learn a lesson, or to become one with the universe. I tell you Jesus walked out of the tomb like a man with a mission. There was no compromise in what he did or said.

“Hello!” he said, and the women came to him, bowed down to the ground, took hold of his feet, and kissed them. You could tell that they were scared. It’s not everyday that you see and hear and touch someone who has been raised from the dead. As I said, there was a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on.

And Jesus said to them, “Don’t be afraid; get up, go and tell the others to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” And he left.

Over the centuries, I have heard the stories of Jesus’ disciples, how they went to Galilee, told the resurrection story to the world, and how they baptized the people of the world into the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, but, more than that, I need to tell you that the world was changed that day.

I, Petros, the rock, sealed and settled at the tomb, could not stand in way of the resurrection. I was rolled away for new life to enter the world, and I was changed. My ordinary, flawed self became the cornerstone of the church. God used me to be a symbol of the resurrection.

Each Easter I am used again as the foundation stone to build faith. I roll away with joy. With me, you see God’s anointed son, Jesus Christ, walk from death to live with us in ministry—leading and calling us in love; to join, as servants of all, to shake the powers of the world, to be living stones.

All of us can be a little hard-hearted at times, but do we want to be stones, stuck and sealed over death, or stones rolled away so that others might see and know the promise and hope of life?

Alleluia! Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

CORRECTION--JESUS LOVES! Retrospective Roominations

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

CORRECTION--JESUS LOVES!

Retrospective Roominations

by Jack D. Sypal

Dateline: Rome, April 13, 13:01:38

In this year of the double nickels, as our new emperor, Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, continues to fiddle with Senate relations, foreign policy,  and social welfare inequalities at home; as cases of heartburn increase because our beloved emperor refuses to give up his music career and accept the responsibilities of governing the empire like an adult; as our most excellent emperor releases his Greatest Lyre Hits with original rap lyrics under the tag NC CAG & the Luminaries and fires up the crowds with his roof-top concerts (featuring hits like Nero, My God is Me; I Walk in the Garden when Stoned;  Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire; his Consort concert tribute to an old flame, Ablazing Grace; and the original groove of, Burning Down the House), this reporter thought to look back at some of the events that have helped to shape our world today.
One of the most consistent challenges to Roman authority continues to be The Way, that Jesus movement that gained great traction after the Jesus crucifixion event over twenty years ago. It has spread from a minor public execution site outside of Jerusalem to major urban centers throughout the kingdom including Rome itself. Six years have passed since Emperor Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus attempted to eradicate the insidious, insurrectionist movement by edict. That act failed; today, the movement seems to be alive and doing fine.
I originally hoped to interview some of the earliest Jesus followers before their stories vanish like smoke on the morning breeze, but did not expect to be able to interview a first shaper of what we have come to know as the Christian movement. I caught up with Brother Simon, aka Cephas, aka Peter (Bro’ Pete), in a little wine bar down the street from the Aetna Mountaineering Outfitters, Persian Rug Emporium, Ye Olde Turke Coffee Shoppe & Frank’s Sensible Perfumery owned and operated by Prisca and Aquilla.
After I bought a skinful of wine for Bro’ Pete, he started to regale me with some of the amazing fish stories of his life with Jesus of Nazareth and afterwards. Don’t let him get started on the tuna story. Following is his account of the sequence of events that led to what he affectionately calls The Rolling Stone GenExt.
Bro’ Pete claims, “It started one night when the bunch of us had reserved this private dining room above our local hangout in Jerusalem. All of us were there. There was Nate the Great (Nathaniel); Drew (Andrew); the bag man (Judas); Phil the Pill (Philip); Ditto (Thomas); me, of course (they called me Rocky in those days); and the Jam-Man. Most people thought we called him J.C., but he preferred Messiah. I know, Messiah means Christ, but Messiah was what he liked. J.M. was too hard to say, so we did what all good Jewish guys do with consonants, we added a vowel. Once the a got put in there, man just seemed a natural extension. And it really fit because he was always riffing on some old teaching and finding new ways of saying things—like jazz you know?
“Anyways, the Jam-Man and the rest of us guys were waiting for the servant girl; I think her name was Mandy—yeah, that was it, Mandy Tirsveh. She was supposed to come in and wash our feet, but nothing was happening. All of a sudden, the Jam-Man got up and started curtsying and was taking off his robe and stuff. It was pretty hilarious actually. Then he took a towel and tucked it into his waist band, took the basin of water and knelt down to do the washing himself.
“(By the way, do you know the difference between a bison and a buffalo? You can’t wash your feet in a buffalo. Pretty good, huh?)
“Okay then. When the Jam-Man got to me, I thought that I would yuck it up a little. I said, ‘Not just my feet. Wash my face and my hands, too.’ That’s when things got serious. It had all been good times up to then. We all knew the serious stuff was happening the next day, what with Passover and all, so we were just blowing off a little steam.
“Anyways, Mandy eventually showed up. She served the food, and supper was going along until the Jam Man said that one of us was going to betray him. Really, it would have been more accurate if he had said that we all were going to betray him because, you know, we all did. But when he told us that one of us was going to betray him, we all said that it couldn’t be one of us. Then, the Jam-Man dipped bread in the dessert wine and gave the first bite to the Bag Man. Then the Jam-Man said, ‘The betrayer has dipped his bread in the wine with me.’ And that was that. The Bag Man looked at all of us, and then he ran out of the room.
“I was feeling pretty large at the moment—a good meal, good wine, in the midst of my bros, and I had just dodged the bullet. Yeah, I was feeling pretty large. I said, ‘Now that that’s done, you know you can count on me. I’d never betray you. You know I’ve always got your back, don’t you?’
“That’s when he told me that I would deny him three times before the cock crowed. I told him that I would lay down my life for him! I meant it, too! I never intended to leave him in the lurch! I just got scared. Know what I mean?
“After the Bag Man left, the Jam-Man sat back and got all reflective. He kept looking at the door the Bag Man had left by, like he was waiting for him to come back, but he didn’t. Then he said, ‘You know I love you guys, don’t you? Well, I need to tell you this. You guys have some hard times ahead of you. My time is now, but your time is still coming. It’s important that you find ways to continue to love one another. Your love for one another is how the world is going to know you. So, remember to love one another.’
“And then, he looked even more distant than ever, like he’d had one glass of wine too many, and, in this far-off voice, he said, “Even Judas.” That shook us because he called him Judas and not the Bag Man. We all thought, like we wouldn’t love the Bag Man? The Bag Man was irritating and odd at times, but he was our little oddity, and we never doubted that he was one of us. How things can change…how things can change. We really didn’t know.
“Anyway, we got done with supper, and we went to the Garden. The Jam-Man got arrested when the soldiers and the temple police showed up.
“We started out following at a distance, and so we saw where they took him. One of us, Beloved, we called him—he was the secret disciple that kept us informed of stuff going on in the Jerusalem priesthood set—convinced the servant girl keeping the door that night into letting me in to the courtyard of Annas’ house.
“That’s when everything hit me. I was surrounded by all these soldiers and Jerusalem elites. I knew that they could have me arrested too by just raising their voices. So, when they asked if I was a disciple, I said, ‘No way.’
“So much for laying down my life, huh? It wasn’t bad enough that I denied being a disciple of his once, I did it three times. and then the rooster crowed.
“You know, the Jam-Man kept saying that his time was not up, his time wasn’t up, and then he suddenly changed his tune. Then it was, “My time is up. My time is now, and it’s going to be great, glorious, revealing.” We didn’t have a clue.
“Now, of course, I know what he meant. So much is clearer today. But back then? I didn’t have a clue. So many of us sat at that table that night, and none of us had a clue. But afterwards we got it—got it well enough to say that we could lay down our lives, not for the Jam-Man, he laid down his life for us—but to lay down our lives for the sake of those that come next.
“That’s why I like to call this movement The Rolling Stone GenExt. It’s all about making the difference for the kingdom today and preparing the kingdom for those who come next.
“I gotta tell you. The supper we had that night was great. Whenever I sit down with friends to a meal like that, I always remember the days of the Jam-Man, and it’s like he’s really there with me. It’s a little spooky, but it feels good. You know what I mean?
“Somehow or other though, I just can’t eat chicken anymore.
“Well, thanks for the wine. I gotta go. Luv ya, man,”
With that said, Bro Pete put the bota skin on the table, got up and walked away. He seemed to vanish in the crowd. Reports continue concerning Bro Pete’s activities in the area. Rumor has it that he will soon be a papa.

HICKORY DICKORY DOCK or 3 BLIND MICE

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

HICKORY DICKORY DOCK or 3 BLIND MICE

In a startling report, Josh Kristy disciples are revealed to be blind.

Dateline: Galilee, February 26, 17:01:09

by Matt Hughes

Following is a transcript of last evening’s broadcast courtesy of our news affiliate ATTV: “If it’s news, it’s where we’re AT.”
Earlier today, Josh Kristy took with him Peter, James, and his brother John, who most think are his closest disciples, and led them up an undisclosed mountain. This reporter was able to follow at a distance and report these happenings to you through enhanced long-range digital camera and sound equipment.

It appears Kristy took these three disciples with him because, unbeknownst before now, they are blind, thus limiting their ability to attest to the strange occurrences that transpired at the ad hoc summit meeting where Moses and Elijah were also ostensibly in attendance.

As the film begins, you can clearly see that Kristy’s appearance is dramatically different from that at his recent gatherings. His face is glowing brightly, and his clothes are sparkling white. The level of brilliance is high enough to distort the image, yet the disciples seem to be unaware. They stand together apparently preoccupied with their own conversation.

In this next clip, two apparitions, most likely Moses and Elijah, join Kristy in what appears to be a serious communication of import and still the disciples seem unaware. They continue to be preoccupied by their own concerns.

And here, you will notice one of the disciples, most likely Peter, tugging on Kristy’s sleeve, still apparently unaware of the spectacle before them, but excited about something.

In this last clip, a cloud, unlike anything our meteorologists can describe or explain, appears, and, when isolated lightning and thunder were seen and heard, the disciples fell flat on their faces as they tried in vain to seek shelter.

And now we see Kristy helping Peter, James, and his brother John, up onto their feet and hiking back down the mountain.

We asked our local specialist on paranormal occurrences, Dr. Yule Ceboetter for his opinion of Kristy’s disciples’ reaction. “Well, it is possible that the intensity of the brightness was such that their retinal sensors were overloaded and ceased to function, but, I believe, that, if you look at your earlier shots, they indicate that they were climbing, using walking sticks and holding on to one another on the way up the incline. The film is not clear, but they certainly could be white canes suggesting that they were blind before this unusual meeting took place.

Ceboetter continued, “Clearly, blindness is the only explanation for their nonchalance at the beginning of this paranormal event. Any normal person would have been overcome by such extranormal events and would have exhibited physical reactions such as cringing or at least shading their eyes. Here you see none of this. In fact, at the end of the second clip, we see Peter tugging on Kristy’s sleeve without any show of noticing the circumstances around him. Yes, in my considered opinion, they all must be blind.”

Ceboetter further opined, “But not deaf. You will notice in the third clip that they all fell down as soon as there was thunder. This would indicate that the lightning did not impress them, but the thunder certainly did. This would confirm, I think, that they are all blind, but not deaf. I am just so delighted that we have this permanent record of what really went on there.”

Ceboetter’s opinion was further substantiated when I caught up with Kristy and his disciples. When asked about the appearances at the summit events, John replied, “What appearances?” Before I could follow up, he rushed off, saying, “I’m sorry, Josh is about to speak, and I want to listen to him.”

This reporter had not considered the importance of blind faith before this. I had always thought it was a figure of speech.

We Interrupt this Program John 1:29-42

One night when it was stormy and good to be home from work, having sat down to watch my favorite T.V. show in the comfort of my recliner, and beginning to relax, involved in the show’s plot, just as the mystery was about to be solved, a klaxon horn blared into the soundtrack of the show and a weather map with color coded symbols appeared. The crawler at the bottom of the screen and an over-recorded voice said, “We interrupt this program with a weather advisory. The National Weather Service in Sullivan, Wisconsin shows severe thunderstorms capable of producing hail, heavy rain and strong winds south of a line running from LaCrosse to Appleton. This advisory covers MARQUETTE-GREEN LAKE-FOND DU LAC-SAUK-COLUMBIA-DODGE-IOWA-DANE-JEFFERSON-LAFAYETTE-GREEN-ROCK counties between 7:45 and 10pm. If you are in this area, take shelter immediately.”  Then after the klaxon blared several more times, it repeated. Finally, we were told, “We now return you to your local program.” But did I get returned to the program? No! Not only did I miss the best part of the show, but it was now in commercial break.
 

From the time that we are little, we are taught that it is not polite to interrupt. We are taught to wait for your turn in the conversation and then say what you have to say. Yet our lives are filled with interruptions. This day, in particular, is an interruption to the rest of our week. God’s sabbath time interrupts our daily routines reminding us of God’s plan, including intentional rest and retreat from the cares of our daily living. In the midst of interruptions, I welcome you to the second Sunday in Epiphany.

In the midst of our local programming, the Gospel of Matthew, we hear from the Gospel of John, filled with different, sometimes conflicting accounts of Jesus. This is not coincidental; it happens this day every year. Each year we read a different passage, but none-the-less, the second Sunday of Epiphany belongs to John. I wish I could tell you why, but I really don’t know.

Last week, in Matthew, we witnessed Jesus being baptized. This is important for us because the book of John reports that Jesus has been baptized, but in John we never witness the actual baptism. In fact, today’s text appears to take place the day after the baptism. This is only one of the many oddities of the book of John. At the other end of this Gospel, we will see the disciples and Jesus gathered for the last supper, but instead of giving the disciples wine and bread, Jesus washes their feet.

We could spend a lot of time comparing the Gospels, but what we mostly need to note is that the purpose of John’s Gospel is different. The other three Gospels—Matthew, Mark and Luke—are called the synoptic Gospels (“synoptic”, from Greek syn, with or together, and optikos, for seeing, or eye witness accounts). The Gospel of John is known as the exegetical Gospel (again, from the Greek, ex, out or from, and hegetikos, drawn out). This drawing out from or exegetical writing and reading of John allows us more direct understanding of who Jesus is. It is much more theological and therefore makes statements about Jesus that the other Gospels cannot make.

Today’s text is one of those statements about Jesus. John the Baptist says, “I have been telling you that I am not the Messiah, the Christ, the anointed one. That person is coming after me. I do not know him, but I have been baptizing people because through baptism I knew I would be able to recognize who the messiah is. And I found him; it is that guy over there. I saw the spirit of God descend from heaven and alight on that one. You see, I was told that the one the spirit alighted on and stayed would be the messiah, so I know that is the messiah. He is the lamb of God, the one who will be the sacrifice for the world, the cosmos, and through him we will all be made right with God. Through him, the sins of our ancestors have been forgiven, and, through him, our sins will be forgiven too. See him, the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. He is the son of God.”

There is no kinship between John and Jesus recorded here as in the book of Luke and hinted at in the book of Mark. There is no understanding that John should be baptized by Jesus as in the book of Matthew. In the book of John, the way that John recognizes Jesus is by seeing the spirit of God come down and stay with Jesus. This seeing is not something that is John’s alone. We, the readers and hearers of this story, are invited to see, with John, Jesus who is the messiah, the Christ, the anointed, and, in that seeing, to enter into relationship with Jesus’ disciples and with Jesus himself. We are invited to see and to name Jesus as the one who takes away the sin of the world.

Last week we talked about how important Jesus’ first words were for the Gospel of Matthew. “Let us do so now, for it is proper, in this way, to fulfill all righteousness.” This week we get to hear Jesus’ first words in the book of John. “What are you looking for?” A more literal reading would be, “What are you seeking, or searching, for?”

John’s disciples reply with the question, “Teacher, where are you staying?” They are wondering, “Where are you teaching, what are you teaching, how are you teaching? What is it that you think is so important that is different from what John has been teaching? After all, we have been John’s disciples and have had a good relationship with him. Why should we become your disciples? By John’s testimony we believe that you are the Son of God, but what difference does that make?”

In response to the disciples, Jesus invites them to, “Come and see.” This seeing that Jesus invites them to is theaomai; this Greek word is the root of theater. This is not just a peek in kind of seeing, but an IMAX kind of experience. It is more than just looking; it is a come and have your world rocked, a sensory, amped-up, get involved looking/overwhelming feeling, kind of experience. It is a relationship that will involve all your senses: hearing the word, seeing Jesus’ interactions with others, smelling perfume, tasting wine and eating bread, and putting fingers into the holes in Jesus’ side and hands. We will go to weddings and to homes in the night, we will go to the temple and to the cleansing pools of the city. We will smell the odor of the poor and the diseased, and we will hear the distant sound of Roman authority in fear. Throughout the Gospel of John, we will see “the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” reach out to people to establish and create new relationships of healing trust and hope. We will see the master gardener sow seeds of caring and compassion. We will see Christ stand before us as shepherd, gate, vine, and bread. We will witness Christ on the cross challenging our hearts and minds with claims of truth, life, and light.

Indeed, what are you seeking? What do you want to know about this Jesus who stands before you? What difference can he make in your life?

Jesus invites John’s disciples and us to, “Come and see.”

And so, when Andrew sees who Jesus is, he runs to report what he has seen, discovered, found. He goes to his brother Simon to bring him to what he has found: the messiah, the Christ, the anointed One of God. And the divine theater begins. “You are Simon. From now on you will be Cephas, and for the sake of you who don’t know Aramaic, that is Peter in Greek, and for those of you who don’t know either Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek, that is rock in English. You are the rock, the living foundation stone on which I will build.”

Jesus began to build with Simon Peter. It is not something that is done and completed; it is an ongoing building project that requires sweat equity, sacrificial living, and the hands of many. Come and see. Look around yourselves right now. For, in the midst of our lives, in the midst of our worship, Christ interrupts our comfort zones and invites us to see ourselves, the Church that has been built and the Church that continues to be built in the evangelizing relationship of the world of need, in the presence of the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, Jesus Christ, the son of God, our savior and Lord.

So, with Andrew, who accepted Jesus’ invitation and went to see, we too see Jesus, the Lamb of God, and find the Messiah. We too need to ask ourselves, who do we want to tell of our great find? Who do we want to invite into this relationship we have in the lamb? Who will benefit from our news of what is the Good news for God’s people? Who can we invite with Christ’s words, “Come and see.”

I now return you to your regular local programming already in progress.

BAD: MEANING of LAMB OF GOD

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET            INTERNATIONAL NEWS 

BAD: MEANING of LAMB OF GOD

Dateline: Jordan Creek, Holy Land?, January 15, 01:29:42

Matt Hughes

As the United States prepares to inaugurate a new president, new findings at Jordan Creek reveal helpful and hopeful words as we move into a new world of information gathering. It appears that even in Jesus’ time there were issues with party defections and veracity.

At the Biblical Archeology Digest (BAD) site, archeologist O. Toby Norske, coordinator, shared that the latest rune stone transcriptions reveal political forces within the anti-establishment reformers. Jesus left the extreme wilderness people, known as “acid heads”, to form his own reform party where he is addressed with the back-to-nature name “Rabbit”.

Ayne Shent, a Norwegian antiquity scholar with BAD said, “Some of the back to nature, locust-eating, honey-dipping moderates chose the messy life with Jesus rather than the sticky ways of John.”

This new way of living had some issues too. One of the new Reform Party followers had problems with disclosure. In the name of full transparency, Jesus outed this follower saying, “You are called Simon, aka Cephas, aka Peter, aka Rocky, aka The Fish.” Norma L. Prankster said, “This last name clears up much of Church history. There were claims this early head-over-heels party leader was the Bish of Rome. We now know that he was known as the Fish of Rome. I wonder if he was related to Abe Vigoda.”

As information continues to come in from the BAD site, a more complex political scene is unfolding. Jesus, as the head of the reform party, was known as the LAMB of GOD.  Rather than being a title of divination, Shent claims it appears to be an acronym for “Lakes & Agriculture Management Bureau of Glaciated Oversight Districts”, akin to the DNR today.

When asked how these records help us understand the complexities of olden times and the general outlook of the world today, Shent said, “Well, we now know that speaking truth was clearly an issue even at the time of these writings.” BAD has gained knowledge from studying the runes and sifting through various errata. Shent shared, with a certain degree of certainty, that the central wisdom from the passage they finished recently reads, “Look here der, the L.A.M.B. of G.O.D., who takes away the spin of the world.” As she was packing up, Shent said, “Lord, have mercy. Even in those days they were trying to find truth in government.”