THIS GATE SWINGS BOTH WAYS

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET
The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

THIS GATE SWINGS BOTH WAYS

by Jack D. Sypal

Dateline Jerusalem, May 7, 10:01:10

In court Sunday, Jesus of Nazareth (J.o.N.) responded to charges brought by Mr. I. Seituwel of stealing that man’s identity and life. Representing himself, J.o.N. pled innocent to all counts. In his defense, he offered an alternative scenario, confronting our city’s citizens and visionaries as the perpetrators of the theft. Claiming privilege for sheep and shepherds, J.o.N. protested his innocence while charging the greater part of society as thieves and bandits, raising the issue of, “What is a thief and a bandit?” 


In revealing testimony, the Pharisee, Rabbi Dick Highosooner responded, “Thievery is both active and passive. The active thief compels one to give up their possessions by force. The more clever, passive thief obtains wealth and power by withholding what rightfully belongs to the poorer person or to those who are not able to defend their property and rights from more powerful neighbors. This form of thieving and banditry is usually more profitable because it can be done within the law.”


J.o.N. continued to speak out against the people who made the gift of sight he gave to Seituwel a nightmarish, misanthropic reaction of alienating isolation. Claiming himself to be a gate that swings in to allow entrance of sheep and shepherds, then out to allow shepherds and sheep egress to pasture, J.o.N.  challenged Roman citizens and people of Judea, along with the Pharisees, to examine their place and role among those who have a vision of the Kingdom and their participation in it.


As a gate, J.o.N. stated that it was not his intent “to restrict the movement of those whom he protected, but to provide shelter from the storm, safety from the predators of life, to create a safe place for rest so that the flock under his protection could be equipped to go out into the world for pasture community.”


In reply to Seituwel’s charges, J.o.N. pointed to the crowds, accusing them with, “It is this community of gatekeepers that has put the fly in the ointment, the worm in the apple, the stick in the spokes of the wheel. The gift of sight was to make Mr. Seituwel more accepted, but their actions have eventuated further alienation, causing him unintended and unnecessary loss of communal identity. By their suspicious, doubting, abandoning, and faithless, exclusionary behavior, these people stole his community from him and cast him out with less than he had in the first place.” 


“As gatekeepers, they performed their duties flawlessly. They kept everybody out, even those who should be let in. But the other duty of the gatekeeper is to open the gate for those who would enter. In this duty they failed miserably.
“And, it is in their failed duty that they take greatest pride. In their pride, they demonstrate a kind of latch envy—envy of the power of the bolt to imprison the unsuspecting and secure the status quo thus preventing participation in the fullness of life’s opportunities. There is much more to life than Plato’s dismal cave of shadow verisimilitudes. There may be safety inside the walls, but the fullness of life is known in coming out. A gate is the ultimate trans-state between the when of the past, the now of the moment, and the then of the future.”


Then, almost singing, J.o.N. exclaimed, “I am the gate! I swing both ways! I swing back and forth. In comes the Southern breeze or cold wind from the North. The Holy Spirit blows where it wills, and the gate must always be ready to swing in the most advantageous direction for the sake of the sheep and their shepherd. I let the shepherd and the new members of the flock in, and I let the shepherd and the sheep out to feed. I am not a wall that stands fast against the world on the outside while imprisoning those within. I am active in the way to life and growth as well as care and protection.”


In his closing remarks, J.o.N. said, “A gate always leads the way to life. Those who dream of walls only are thieves and bandits seeking personal good at the expense of those contained by walls. They seek to steal, to kill, and to destroy life even crushing the spirit of hope. 


“I am a gate that offers hope always with the promise of abundant life beyond. Don’t you know? The grass is always greener on the other side, and the gate gets you there.”

OH WHERE, OH WHERE, CAN MY RABBI BE?

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

OH WHERE, OH WHERE, CAN MY RABBI BE?

by Jack D. Sypal

Dateline: Jerusalem, April 27, 20:01:18

Over the years there has been much speculation about the relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene. So, I thought that it would only be right as a reporter to seek out another of the first shapers of the Christian movement, Mary herself, to conclude my series on how The Way began. Earlier conversations have been with Peter, James and John, and Thomas.

With the permission and support of The AngelUS Trumpet editorial staff, I caught a ship to Rome and then another to Marseille. From there I caught a pack-train going to Provence where I finally sat down with Mary Magdalene over a light lunch of some very good bread, a so-so wine, and an excellent salad with some home-grown olives.

Following lunch, Mary had the table cleared and then, with another glass of wine in her hand, she looked at me very directly and started to tell me about her life and her part in the Way.

“It seems like it was a different world back then. In many ways, it was. The heel of Rome was lifted against us in Palestine. Between Rome and the temple, taxes were high and life was difficult. My family had some money, but, even so, the powers of Rome, Herod’s taxes, Pilate’s brutality, they all created some tough times.

“The complicity of Annas and Caiaphas, and the rest of the priesthood, was understandable, I suppose; I mean, the priestly robes and head pieces that were used on high holy days were held and closeted by the governor. The priests were only allowed to wear them during the celebrations, and then they had to be returned to the governor’s care.

“It is hard to be independent when you have to go to your oppressor in order to perform your duties for the people and before the Lord. Eventually that kind of control erodes your faith in God and tempts you to think that the emperor and the power of Rome is equal to, or maybe even greater than the power of God. After that, it’s all about money and power, greed and self-aggrandizement.

“We were living in this world of tremendous wealth and of incredible poverty; and that was not by chance, it was by Roman design. The Emperor and his lackeys wanted to be sure that we felt the full power of Rome and knew that we were a conquered nation. They wanted us to know that our very existence as a nation depended on Rome’s pleasure.

“For instance, to demonstrate their power, soldiers would intentionally carry all their belongings with them wherever they went, but they carried their ruck-sack for only a short distance. Then they would impress one of the people in the street to carry it for them.

“We were required by law to carry the burden for a mile. At the end of a mile, the soldier would point to another person who would then have to carry the ruck-sack the next mile. Usually it was just back to the barracks. The whole time the soldiers would be jeering and taunting the person hoping to get him or her to rebel or respond in anger so that the soldier could slap the person down.

“I remember, there were all kinds of messiahs in those days who spoke out against the power of Rome and encouraged the people to rise against the Roman boot. Mostly, they and their followers were quickly seized and executed.

“Among the messiahs was John; he made a big splash for a while. He was baptizing anybody who would repent of their Roman ways and return to the old ways of the law. an ascetic of sorts I guess. He was making a lot of noise, telling us that we needed to stand up and be counted as the children of God, not slaves to Rome.  

“Eventually John got arrested by Herod for denouncing Herod’s marriage to Herodias. Yeah, his mouth eventually got him killed, but that’s another story. What was different about John was that he kept saying, ‘I am not the one. The one you are seeking is coming after me.’ We thought it was a clever way of deflecting attention from himself, but it turned out to be true.

“You see, this rather quiet rabbi showed up. He too was telling us that we needed to stand up for ourselves, but we were to stand up in love for one another. He advocated praying for our enemies and learning ways to lift up the poor. His teachings were not about defying Rome  with force, but resisting Rome with love. If we were impressed by the soldiers for a mile, we should volunteer to carry the burden another mile. We were to forgive the people who were our oppressors and find ways to be an active part of our world.

“I was just a young woman in those days, and I fell in love with what the rabbi was saying. I hadn’t fallen in love with the rabbi, but I really fell hard for what he was saying; and I thought that I could change the world with my good works. Oh yes, there was some hero worship in there, and it was exciting to be seen with him, but I really wasn’t in love with the rabbi. It was more about the movement than the person.

“I thought that, if I threw some of my family’s money at the poor, that the world would be changed, but it wasn’t money that changed the world. I thought that I could really do something for the lesser people; and then I learned that there aren’t any lesser people, only people we think less of. I learned that people had to do the things that brought recognition and dignity for themselves, that I couldn’t just wish it for them. I thought it was about me, but oh how I was wrong.

“In the course of things, I got to know all of the guys [Peter, James, John, Thomas, etc.] pretty well. I even got into their silly name calling. They called me Maggie Mae. It was so serious and so light-hearted at the same time. And, being a woman often alone with men, I got a reputation, but it was all talk.

“As the rabbi’s teaching gathered popularity, the number of followers increased. In time his following got pretty large, more than a hundred of us that got together regularly. There were enough of us that the rabbi was able to send us out to some of the neighboring towns.

“It was wonderful. To do the work of the rabbi was like life itself. We were young. We were enthused. We were the future. It was amazing! It was an education.

“Oh, I almost forgot to mention the wedding and the wine, Lazy Larry, Isaac Seituwel, and Lazarus; those were the flashy moments, but the best part was learning from the rabbi. Do you know how amazing it was for me, a woman, to be allowed to learn from a rabbi? It was heady stuff and I loved every minute of it.                                                                    

 “I learned to think like him and even observed as he taught the other guys what it meant to be a disciple. The look on Philip’s face the day that the rabbi told him to feed the people who had gathered on the hill to hear what the rabbi had to say, it was precious. Then they found little Sol with the fish and the bread, and the rest is history. I don’t care whether you call it a sign or a miracle. It was amazing to watch those people eat their fill and then have leftovers.  It made you think that world hunger could be conquered with a little generosity and some good will. Anyway, it really felt possible that day.

“At the end, things felt like they were falling apart. You know about the last supper. You know about his arrest and the trial. You know that he was crucified and that they laid him in the new tomb in the garden. You know about the total collapse of the movement.

“You can’t believe how we felt when Rome won again. We were used to being sold out by the priesthood and the temple officials—they were just trying to hold on to what they had. I suppose the charitable thing to say is that they were biding their time for the moment when Rome would go away and leave us alone. Or maybe, that the priests and the scribes and Sadducees were waiting for the day when Rome could be overthrown. I don’t know anymore, but to involve one of our own? It still seems impossible.

“What I know is that we were decimated. We were gutted like the fish in the market. The guys went to the safe house and holed up. I had some rooms nearby that my family held for business in Jerusalem so I stayed there.

“We all spent Sabbath together, and then, early in the morning I went to sit and think about what was next. That’s when it happened. I saw that the stone was rolled away and the tomb was opened. You could smell the myrrh and aloe from the burial clothes, but the tomb looked empty.

“I ran to tell Beloved and Peter that the rabbi’s body was stolen, and they ran to the tomb. If anything, they were even more upset than I was. They went all the way into the tomb, thinking that someone might have come and defiled the body in some way, but there was no body.

“They left in silence. Tears were pouring down their faces as they left, but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave right away. So, I went into the tomb to see for myself. That’s when I saw the pile of grave clothes soaked in myrrh, the face cloth rolled up on the side, and the two angels. I thought that it was just a vision, a product of my tortured imagination, but one of the angels spoke to me, ‘Why are you crying?’

“I couldn’t believe it: ‘Why was I crying?’ Because my world was falling apart, that’s why, because one of my best friends ever had died, because everything I thought was worth anything had turned to dust and less than that. They each had this stupid smirk on their faces, and so I turned away. I turned away because I was angry—angry enough to want to die on the spot—and then, when I was trying to leave, I ran right into somebody else.

“Through the tears and my rage, in the midst of my despair and devastation, I searched for anything that might make sense. Supposing him to be the gardener, I lashed out. ‘Where, oh where, can my rabbi be? Where have you laid him?,’ I cried. ‘I know that you have taken him away from me. If you tell me where you have laid him, I will take him away from you, so I can have some peace in this world.’

“I might have even tried to bribe him with some of my family’s money, and then he called me by name. I couldn’t believe it. I knew that voice. I’d heard it thousands of times before. ‘Teacher?’ I asked.

“And then I knew. He had told us in so many ways that this was going to happen, but we just didn’t get it. I mean, how could we have known? I know there was Lazarus; but that was the rabbi’s work, and Lazarus was sick. We never thought that anyone could come back from a crucifixion. And yet, he was standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom. Could it be?

“He told me everything I needed to know and a whole lot more, and then I went to tell the rest of the disciples. They thought I was hysterical and didn’t pay me any mind until that night when they saw him too. You know about Ditto [Thomas] and how that played out. What you don’t know is that even after they had seen the rabbi, they insisted on staying in that stupid room.

“I think that they would be there today if I hadn’t shamed them into leaving. I reminded them all about the times they had promised to have his back, all the times they promised to follow him, all of their pronouncements about the rabbi being the messiah. They called him the Jam Man after all. Didn’t that mean anything to them?

“Did they think that our time together had just been a little political game? I told them that lives matter and the news of the rabbi’s resurrection had to mean something for all people or else the rabbi’s life meant nothing at all. What were we going to do about it? That’s when Peter decided to go fishing. And that fishing trip eventually made the difference.

“After that, the guys went their separate ways, each telling the story as they remembered it. My place in the story, with the other women, got smaller and smaller until you’d have thought that the guys did everything and we were just the auxiliary—sex toys and eye candy. But that was not the way it was.

“One day I decided to find my own place. I decided Ditto had had the right idea: to get away from the chaos in the middle of the empire and go to places where people were less concerned about Rome and more concerned about living, a place where I could remember those days and tell the story as I had learned and lived them. So, here I am.

“No, I am not in one of the lesser places of the world. I am in a place that people think of less. Personally, that’s fine with me. I don’t need high-profile coverage. As a matter of fact, I thought long and hard about talking with you today. But someone has to tell that he lives. The tomb couldn’t hold him. He has ascended to his father and our Father, to God, whom he always professed. He has sent us the Advocate as he promised and with the Advocate I continue to grow in faith, trusting that his message of love will ultimately overcome the powers of evil, greed, self-aggrandizement, self-interest, and hatred.

“Ditto may have been the first one to say it out loud, but he was not the only one to know that our rabbi, our Jam-Man, Jesus, the messiah, is our Lord and our God. He lived among us. He lives with us and through us. He will come again to gather us to himself in the last day.

“In the meantime, I have this simple life with simple fare, and simple ways that do not include Roman imperialism. I would thank you for not sharing precise directions on how to get here.

“And now, I think it is time for you to go. I can do nothing more for you.”

As I walked down the road to my evening’s lodging, I heard Mary say, “Thanks for caring enough to come. Luv ya, man.” 

An Easter Story Lithograph

An Easter Story Lithograph

rev. 4/16/2017

Alleluia! He is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia! Happy Easter!

By now, I am sure that you know that the stone got rolled away from the tomb to be the base of the snow man and that the clothes of the angel didn’t just look as white as snow, they were snow, and Jesus saw his shadow this morning so that there will be six more weeks of winter. Oh, yes, there must have been some magic in the old silk hat they found, for when they placed it on his head he began…I’m sorry,…six more weeks of winter? It’s the middle of April! What was I thinking?  At times, I am such a blockhead. I have something much more important to talk about than silly old superstitious nonsense.

I have come to tell you about the joys of being a Christian stone, okay you might call me a rock. My name is Petros, it means rock, because I’m a little dense, hard-hearted you might say—rock, dense, hard, get it?

Now, if you are one of the people in the world who believe in reincarnation, then I might be your worst nightmare because this is where you end up when you haven’t succeeded in any of the other life forms you have known. Of course, if you believe in reincarnation, you already know that the afterlife is a punishment.

Let me tell you a secret. It’s not the case. Today I am here to tell you that I am one of the happiest rocks that has ever rolled down hill because it’s not true.

But before I tell you the news, let me tell you something about life as a rock. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. There are some rocks that are destined to greatness—Michelangelo’s Pieta and David, now there were some rocks stars that really made it. Then, of course, you know about Rushmore, and the problems those rocks have—constant cosmetic surgery; Lord, have mercy. They always have someone working on them. The stories I could tell you and the foundation makeup they use… I’m sorry, I get carried away.

Then there are the finer building stones. Some of them are so good that they get used over and over again. Some of my closest relatives started out in the Roman Coliseum and ended up in St. Peter’s Cathedral.

That’s a funny one, too. Peter is just Petros in another language. So really, it’s St Rock’s Cathedral, made out of stones.


Well, my friends and I thought it was funny.

Then there are the cobblestones. They’re another branch of the family who just lie around in roads, patios, and sidewalks—not great stones, but sometimes helpful. Some of them are tricksters so watch your step.

Me, well, I’m sort of common. Old Granddad Bluff said I’d never amount to much. “Lacks grit and polish,” he said.

I had dreams about greatness at one time, but when the sculptors came, they passed me by. They can be such chiselers you know, always looking for a bargain. When the builders came, they said that I was flawed; rejected again.

I was too big to be a cobblestone, too small to be a monument, too flawed to be much of anything. I was rejected and afraid that, like my dreams, I would be crushed. It is hard enough to grovel, but to be gravel?

Then one day a cryptcarver came along and sized me up, rolled me onto his cart, and carted me to the mausoleum he was building. I was going to be the boundary marker between the living and the dead. On the greatness scale, it’s not so much.

As I said, if you believe in reincarnation, this is about as low as you can go—not really in the world of the living, almost in the world of the dead. I thought, “There are corks that are better off than this.”

It didn’t take long. (At least in daylight rock time, which is an hour faster than standard rock time, so it didn’t seem like it took long.) The day came when they brought a dead man to put into the tomb. Then, they rolled me into place. A notch carved into the ground made it easy to sit there, but because of my flaws, I suppose, people came with clay and pushed it in around the edges. Then a soldier came and pressed the temple seal into the clay in four places.

That night I heard them talking. The dead man was Jesus of Nazareth. Some thought that he was a holy man sent from heaven to save the people from Roman rule, but he was just a man; and the soldiers were there to make sure that riots didn’t break out during the great Sabbath of Passover.
You never know what kinds of crazy things followers of these so-called prophets might do. Some people went so far as to say that he was the son of God. As if.

And then, it started. I thought it was a sigh at first and then a burst of air. It pushed hard against the sealed edges of the hole I was covering. It seemed as if the inside space was too big and had to come out. Like a giant sneeze, that came from somewhere deep inside the earth this breath of…of life came bursting out around me. Then everything started to happen at once.

Lightening started flashing, the earth started shaking, the soldiers cried for mercy and fell down on the ground; the clay seals broke apart, and I was rolling. I can tell you. There was a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on. And then, and then, Jesus, the dead man, walked out of the tomb and into my life; and this other person came and sat on me.

Two women came, and the person talked with them. “Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.’”


It was the strangest thing. I know that rocks don’t look very animated, but that day I was so proud to be Petros, the rolling stone, the rock, with all of my imperfections. In spite of the fact that I had been turned down for almost every job of any greatness, I, Petros, was the first to witness the amazing resurrection breath of life.


It was not reincarnation. Jesus did not come out as something less than he had been before, instead he seemed quite the same but somehow more. This rising from the dead was not a punishment to walk the earth, to learn a lesson, or to become one with the universe. I tell you Jesus walked out of the tomb like a man with a mission. There was no compromise in what he did or said.

“Hello!” he said, and the women came to him, bowed down to the ground, took hold of his feet, and kissed them. You could tell that they were scared. It’s not everyday that you see and hear and touch someone who has been raised from the dead. As I said, there was a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on.

And Jesus said to them, “Don’t be afraid; get up, go and tell the others to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” And he left.

Over the centuries, I have heard the stories of Jesus’ disciples, how they went to Galilee, told the resurrection story to the world, and how they baptized the people of the world into the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, but, more than that, I need to tell you that the world was changed that day.

I, Petros, the rock, sealed and settled at the tomb, could not stand in way of the resurrection. I was rolled away for new life to enter the world, and I was changed. My ordinary, flawed self became the cornerstone of the church. God used me to be a symbol of the resurrection.

Each Easter I am used again as the foundation stone to build faith. I roll away with joy. With me, you see God’s anointed son, Jesus Christ, walk from death to live with us in ministry—leading and calling us in love; to join, as servants of all, to shake the powers of the world, to be living stones.

All of us can be a little hard-hearted at times, but do we want to be stones, stuck and sealed over death, or stones rolled away so that others might see and know the promise and hope of life?

Alleluia! Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

New Salvation Song Matthew 28:1-10

Sue and I are not parents, but we are proud to be Aunt and Uncle. My sister has five girls, the last two were twins.


When the twins were little, and Sue and I stopped in to visit, we could always count on some quiet time with the girls. We might be sitting on the back porch or in the family room when the twins would suddenly appear and ask if they could sing for us. It was fun. Sue and I always felt honored that they would want to sing for us. But what made these impromptu performances really memorable for me was how the girls picked their song list.


Amanda would look at Jennifer, or maybe it was Jennifer who looked at Amanda and say. Let’s sing the new song we learned.


“Which one?”
“You know.”
“Okay, you start.”
“I don’t remember how it goes,” one would say.
“Me either.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Oh, yeah,” the other would say.


And then they’d start singing.


What really amazed me about these performances was that each of the girls seemed to know half the lines, but not all of them. First one would sing and then the other would sing. By the end of each line, both girls would be singing but, it seemed that the first few words of each line were only known by one.


Sometimes they would stop and correct one another.

“No, that’s not right. It’s this way.”
“Oh, yeah,” the other would say, and then they would start again.


It was mind boggling to witness and sometimes really funny. Individually neither one could have entertained us with those songs, nor could either one have been as entertaining, but as a team, they could sing for quite a long time.

In some ways, our lives in Christ are like those two little girls singing their hearts out. We have the desire to sing, and the world needs to hear us sing, but we don’t always know how to get started. We need a partner who knows how to get us started. We turn to the people around us and say, “Let’s sing that new song we learned; you know, the song of salvation. You start.” But the person we turn to is not always confident with the words either.


Sometimes we think that singing the song by ourselves is the way to go, but then things get really confused—we tend to forget the words of salvation and sing about ourselves instead. In those times, we need to be stopped, receive correction from the choir, and start again. Sometimes we have to remember that the song is something that we have learned from someone else. That person thought the song was important enough to teach us, and, if we think the song is important, the song needs to be shared with people we know and love. (When we can sing for our families, we learn how to sing for the enjoyment of others.)


It is important to remember that this joyful singing is not necessarily something that we start out doing well. We may start by only being able to join in by the end of the line. We won’t always know the beginning. Oh yes, some of us might be natural soloists, but most of us find that we sound much better when we sing as a choir—in the embrace of friends who can cover for us when we make mistakes, or remind us of the words when we forget the song. Sometimes they can even teach us new melodies to old words. "Let’s sing the song of salvation to this tune. You start."


Today, with the two Marys we come to the tomb expecting the same old, same old. And then we feel the earth quake. Our world is shaken up by war and prejudice and poverty. We don’t have the same confidence in the world that we had a few years ago. We’re not even sure that we have the same security in the church that we once had. Our very existence in Rural America is challenged. There is a kind of despair in our old song, as we come to the tomb, and we like to sing our same old songs. They’re familiar and have a kind of comfortable security about them, but then we discover the open tomb and the words of our song begin changing.


Like the Marys, we are surprised to see that there’s a messenger sitting on a rock by the tomb teaching us the new salvation song with new words: no longer can despair and death be the statements of who we are. We learn that the old ways may not be the ways of the future but they can inform the ways of the future. “He is not here; he has been raised from the dead as he said.” The words of the past have given us a new way to sing the Jesus song. The song is not only about a wonderful man who had compassion for the less fortunate of the world, it is a song that proclaims God’s love for the world, a love so strong that Jesus’ death on the cross becomes the first note of our salvation song. “Father, forgive them.”


It is no longer a song that can be held by a few disciples, it is a song that must be sung to the world. It must be taught to the world. It must be shared with others in the way we live. It is extravagant and bold because God has been extravagant and bold for us first.


Listen, the song is clear and beautiful; it has a lilting melody that brings hope and joy to those who hear it. Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified.  He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said he would be. Go quickly; sing this song first to his disciples. Here are the words, "Jesus has been raised from the dead! Indeed, he is going ahead of you to Galilee, to Brooklyn, to Brodhead, Orfordville, Attica, Magnolia, Monroe, Evansville, Janesville, New Glarus, Belleville, Oregon, and beyond; there you will see Christ in the people you meet and you will learn more new words to the salvation song." This is God’s song for you.


Today, on this day of resurrection, we learn that there is a song for us and that there is someone who will stand with us before the world to sing. Today we learn that more than knowing all of the words to the song, it is just important to sing the salvation song even if we are not sure of the words. We learn that we should sing the song for unsuspecting audiences and in doing this we will learn to sing the song with confidence; we will learn to sing in ways that encourage other to join us in our merry making. So, raise your tambourines high and get the rhythm going. For the dance is about to begin.


Yes, we come today saying, “Let’s sing a song—that new song we just learned—the one about God’s victory over death. We don’t know the beginning; so, Jesus, you start.”


The amazing thing is that Jesus does start the song for us. It is a song of sadness, "Christ has died". It’s a song of joy, “Christ is risen.” It’s a song of hope, “Christ will come again.” So, let us join the singing as we learn our song—the song that Jesus gave us—the song of our salvation.


Now have you got it. The words are really easy to learn and it has a good beat that’s easy to dance to. You start.


Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia, alleluia!

RENEGADE RABBI RAMPAGE

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

RENEGADE RABBI RAMPAGE

by Matt Hughes

Dateline: Jerusalem, April 9, 21:01:17

Continuing unrest is reported in Jerusalem. The latest, an impromptu demonstration protesting both Roman rule and Temple practices, erupted Sunday morning. The renegade rabbi, Jesus of Nazareth, was seen in the midst of the mob riding a donkey and leading a colt. His personal associates allegedly illegally appropriated said animals earlier in the day. 

The gathering crowd, upon recognizing Jesus, called for the restoration of King David’s throne and threw articles of clothing as well as palm branches before him. Many heralded the renegade rabbi with shouts of “Lord, save us” and “Lord from the highest heaven”.

Jesus, upset by temple business, which fleeces many Passover pilgrims, entered the temple court of the gentiles. The rampaging rabbi drove out buyers and sellers, overturned tables of the temple moneychangers, and released many of the sacred, sacrificial animals. The resulting cloud of pigeons anointed many underneath.

In the midst of the turmoil, this reporter interviewed a demonstrator, one Simon Tanner. When asked if he knew the leader, he replied, “This is the prophet, Jesus of Nazareth from Galilee.” Some beggars from the temple gates also came into the temple grounds claiming that they had been blind and lame but Jesus had healed them. Street urchins ran among the demonstrators adding to the confusion, shouting, “Hosanna to the son of David.”

Having created chaos, Jesus of Nazareth withdrew with his looters to an unknown location in Bethany where he was hidden from authorities.

Jesus of Nazareth is a recalcitrant rabbi who has appeared on the scene from time to time. If you see this renegade rabbi, do not listen to him or come into close contact with him. It is unlikely that this troubled teacher would inflict injury, but he has been known to change people’s lives without considering future consequences. Jack D. Sypal continues to follow several lawsuits people have brought as a result of these actions.

Like today, this man disappears before authorities can apprehend him. Since he is likely to return to the Temple area and grounds in the future, Rome and Temple authorities are asking for your help. They urge you to immediately notify the Temple guard or any Roman soldier. Claims that he is the new King of the Jews continue to perplex politicos and ruffle Roman feathers. Whispers of treason abound.

Remembering the Future John 11:1-53

I am sure that many of you have heard the story of Lazarus coming out of the tomb, or parts of it, numerous times. You have probably heard it at funerals, in general sermons, through your personal Bible reading, and possibly in study groups. If this is the first time that you have heard it, I welcome you into some of the most encouraging and heartening passages of the New Testament. At the same time these are some of the most troubling and confusing passages.

This past week, I was again amazed by the number of shifts in time that take place and the bizarre behavior on Jesus’ part. To begin, we hear John tell the story of Mary to identify her: you know, she is the one who anointed Jesus with oil and wiped his feet with her hair, even though in the narrative of John’s Gospel, we will not be told of Mary anointing Jesus until the next chapter.

As I was reading, I noticed how the verbs do not always agree with the rest of the context of the sentences and that there are other allusions to events that have not occurred. Yet we, as the readers and hearers of this story, both when it was written and today, are to remember the future has already happened.

We hear that Lazarus is sick and a message is sent to Jesus to inform him of the fact with the desire that he come immediately. Does Jesus go to this person he loves? No. He decides to stay where he is for two more days. In the background of our “already, but not yet” memories, we hear “And on the third day, he was raised up from the dead.” But wait, that is not Lazarus; that is Jesus.  

Lazarus is four-days-dead when Jesus and the disciples arrive outside the village, outside the house of Martha and Mary. When Jesus tells Martha that Lazarus will rise again, she looks ahead to the future, to the coming messiah. Jesus tells her that the resurrection is not something to come; it is before her in that moment. Jesus says, “I am I am, the resurrection.” This is not some future thing that will happen; it is loaded with the history of the “I Am” of Moses encountering the burning bush, and it is happening again as Jesus speaks with Martha and as we hear it.

Then we come to that classic line all translators of this text wrestle with. Jesus looks to heaven and says, “I knew that you always hear me.” This past tense certainty comes with a present tense understanding “for the sake of the people standing here”, both those hearing Jesus that day and throughout time. This construct that begins in the past has a life in the present of the speaking that assumes the future of all of you gathered here today.  It is nothing short of spectacular how this short passage prefigures our language of Eucharistic mystery, “Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again.” We feel, more than hear, that “Jesus’ time has not yet come”, in the language of John. We are reminded that this story is about Lazarus, meaning God’s mercy.

The next instance is after Martha goes out to meet Jesus when we hear Martha whisper to Mary that Jesus is calling for her and yet there is no evidence in the text that Jesus has called her.

Then we hear the people respond to Jesus’ question, “Where have you laid him?” with the words that reveal the messiah earlier in John ch. 1, “Come and see.” Yet this time the words “Come and see” are not an invitation to find new life, they are an invitation to witness death—real death—stinking, rotting death. Again, John reminds us that Jesus truly died, but this story is about Lazarus, God’s mercy, not Jesus’ Easter victory.

Or, is it? Amid the seemingly poorly told, mixed-up tenses, and out of sequence events of this story of Lazarus, we encounter resurrection and the resurrected one who has the power to destroy death, to raise the dead of the world from their places of death into new life. We encounter the one who has the authority to command the stone to be removed from the tomb and lay it as the foundation stone of what is to come. In this spectacular way, we are called to remember, not the past, but the future. For the world of the resurrection is all about seeing the possibilities of what is to come—the realization of hope in the future, a world of anticipating  the true state of nothing separating us from God’s “Lazarus mercy and love”, that is, God’s everlasting grace.

No wonder that there were some who believed because of what they saw. No wonder there were those who had to go and tell the authorities what was happening. No wonder there were those who thought that this Jesus had to be stopped because, if more people understood that Jesus had the power to put death to death, everybody might come to believe in him.

Several years ago, a pastor I know had a young man who was new to the faith come to her office to tell her that he had enlisted and was being shipped out to Afghanistan. He asked for the prayers of the community while he was gone.

The pastor asked if there was anything else she could do for him before he left. He asked if she could tell him how to get a copy of that book they read from on Sundays. The pastor asked if he meant the book of hymns. He said, “No, that book that you read from every week.”

She said, “You mean the Bible?”

He said he didn’t know, but he would like to get a copy of it to take with him. He thought that he could read it while he was gone. It would remind him of the people he had met at church. She took him into the sanctuary where she gave him their Bible, The Message translation, saying, “This is a gift to you from us. We will get another and read it with you.”

Well, time went by, and the young man came home. He came back to worship and then showed up at the pastor’s office one afternoon. He asked, “Pastor, do other people know about this book?”

“Yes,” the pastor said.

“Do other people read this book?” the young man asked.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” the pastor responded.

“’Cause, after reading it, I couldn’t help but think, if more people read it, it could change the world.”

The writer of John, in this story, challenges us to witness the authority of Jesus who puts death to death. We are called to remember the future—the events that are to come—the world that invites us to imagine life abundantly, hopefully, joyfully, and prayerfully. We are called then, to tell the story in all times and in all places confessing the resurrection of the body and the life of a world, as yet unknown, to come. And so, in those words that we have been taught, we pray, “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Martin Luther reminds us that God’s will will be done—God’s kingdom will come without us praying for it—but, in this prayer, we pray that we might know, that we might know God’s will and know God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, not sometime in the future, but right here and right now.

This is a precious story that grows when we find ways to share it. Today we heard Brandon join us in telling the story. With his voice, we learn that the story is not only for the old but for the young. And we give thanks for his voice in our midst, that voice of youth and promise.  It is the voice of here and now and the voice of the future. It is another voice that invites us to hear the story of Lazarus’ rising. Telling the story is not about remembering the resurrection in the future but of Christ’s presence in our lives today, lifting us up into new ways of living. It is a story of love and hope that our world needs and longs to hear. It is a message that can change the world. In God’s Lazarus mercy, “Come out!”.

Former Dead Guy Suing Jesus Also!

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

Former Dead Guy Suing Jesus Also!

Dateline: Bethany, April 2, 11:01:12:11

by Jack D. Sypal

Late Friday, Lazarus of Bethany, who we reported Jesus has brought back from the dead, joined I. Seituwell in suing Jesus for unwanted care. There seems to be considerable pushback against this miracle worker’s activities. Speculation has arisen that Lazarus and Seituwell may join forces with others in a class action suit. As political tensions rise and governmental pressures come to bear, could-be followers may choose to seek deep-pocket recompense.

Following is an interview account of the latest person to lay claim against Jesus.

“I mean, I thought [Jesus and I] were close. We had this real bromance going. So, when I was told that Jesus was going off without me, I was really hurt, like cut to the core hurt. I thought that we had something special going on there, and then he was gone with the rest of the guys.

“It wasn’t long after they left me, I was feeling pretty low, and then I got sick. I felt pretty lousy and had to go to bed for the day. My sisters, Mary and Martha, came in with some of that good Jewish penicillin around supper time, but it didn’t seem to be very appetizing. And if you know my sisters’ cooking, you would understand how unusual that was. In the middle of the night, I got this terrible stomachache and sweat started pouring out of me. That is about the last thing I remember for a while.

“My sisters would tell me they sent a message for Jesus to come, but no … I don’t know, maybe the message got crossed up or something, but he thought that he would hang for a couple of days.

Apparently, I got a lot worse. My temperature went sky high. I remember some time on the second day it felt like someone poured ice water in my belly. It hurt a lot; it was excruciating! When I asked my sisters about Jesus, they shook their heads. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t come.

“The next thing I remember, I was being called out. I was in this really peaceful place. I didn’t have any pain, and I was just totally chill, ya know? And then, this annoying voice started calling me out. I really just wanted to lay there. Then I noticed this stink. It was awful. It was sort of like being down at the slaughter yard on a hot day, standing near the fresh hides on one side and the blood pool and feces on the other. Yeah, it was pretty bad.

“And that voice kept nagging me, ‘Lazarus; come out, Lazarus; come out.’

“I finally recognized the voice as my man, but I thought, ‘What the hell? Why is he calling me now? He was the one who left me behind.’

“But finally, the smell got to me and I had to get out of there. That’s when I discovered that I was the smell. When I got out of the cave, I was struck by the sun, and the stench really took on a life of its own. And then I got a whiff of my own breath. Lord have mercy! It was enough to blow a fly off a gut-wagon. You know what I mean?

“Finally, people came and started stripping the wrappings off of me. I had to show my nakedness before all of those people. Public nudity is one thing, but I had pustules erupting on my body and skin sloughing going on. It was pretty disgusting.

“Most people looked at me with horror. They were petulantly pronouncing prognostications of pernicious, purulent, pustule pestilence. Penitents were prostrating themselves on the property, proposing persistent, pietistic popcorn-prayers of propitiation. Everyone was trying to hold their noses, and as soon as they could, they built a proper pyre for burning everything I had on. Even that smelled pretty preposterous.

“I spent hours in the bath trying to scrub the stink off, but after my skin started sliding off, I resorted to wiping my body off in nard. It didn’t get rid of the smell, but it masked it pretty well.

“Everybody thought that it was so cool; that I should be so thankful, but somehow, when I really needed [Jesus], he didn’t show. When I didn’t need him anymore, then he showed up, to do what? Leave me again?

“A couple of nights ago, my sisters invited him to supper; ‘To thank him,’ they said. Apparently I was still smelling pretty bad, so Mary went and got my nard and covered Jesus’ feet with it. The fragrance filled the whole house

“All I could think was, ‘Thanks, sis. Now what am I supposed to do tomorrow?’ I mean the stuff isn’t cheap. We may be wealthy, but we aren’t rich, if you know what I mean.

“Today I find out that there’s a contract out on me. Half the people are treating me like I’m a god, which I’m not; and the other half of the people treat me like I’m this zombie creature who will hex them for the rest of their lives, which I won’t. I can’t go back to work. I’m not even able to hang with my friends. It feels like the bromance is truly over, and I can’t get rid of this stink. If I can’t get my life back, I want pay back.”

New World Vision

March 26, 2017

John 9 “I am the light of the world.”

Leviticus 19:14 “You shall not revile the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind; You shall fear your God: I am the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 27:18 “”Cursed be anyone who misleads a blind person on the road.” All the people shall say, “Amen!”

New World Vision

When, in a world of fearful darkness where disability and misfortune are regarded as signs of sin, Jesus and his disciples encounter a man born blind, Jesus sheds new light on the condition of blindness. It is not about sin, but “that the works of God might be revealed....” In a world of darkness, Jesus claims a place of light and vision: “As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

 

Jesus’ bold, challenging statement continues to lead Christians in their faith. In the Eucharist service, the assembly proclaims the great mystery of their faith: “Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again.” With this proclamation they recognize the historicity of the crucifixion, Christ’s continued presence in the world, and an eschatological future that includes Christ in all of history.

 

For a world that does not see the opportunities of community wholeness, but instead maintains a place of separateness, blindness continues to be a choice rather than a physical condition. In this darkness, however, Christ’s light continues to shine showing us a new way to live.

 

Christ continues to take the creative dust of the world and makes mud for the eyes of the blind to be washed away to enable them to see new ways of living. And from the baptismal waters, the cleansed, just like the blind man sent to wash in the pool of Siloam, see new ways of living and are sent into the world to witness to and cooperate in revealing God’s work of healing wholeness.

 

This new way of interacting with the world will not always be easy. There will be those who, like the Pharisees, challenge this new vision, but, with Christ’s presence before them, the faithful continue to believe and worship in their churches and daily lives in the daylight of Christ’s resurrection world.

Correction: Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

Correction

Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!

 

Dateline: Jerusalem, March 26, 09:01:41

by Jack D. Sypal

Some may not be able to admit that they are wrong, but we at The AngelUS Trumpet value revealing the complete truth. What follows is a corrected copy of Mr I. Seituwel’s statement published in today’s earlier edition. We apologize for this extreme case of parablepsis and over-correction resulting in mishandling the first paragraph in his statement of the situation. The full article is included for your convenience.

On Sabbath Day last, it is alleged that Jesus gave sight to a man who was blind from birth. Now this same former blind man is suing Jesus for lack of income, loss of companionship, and severe emotional distress.
I spoke with this man at length. What follows is Mr. I. Seituwel’s story in his own words. It is a rather lengthy statement, but I think you will find it enlightening, both as to how this itinerant “do-gooder” works and the ramifications of his actions.

“I was minding my own business, begging as I always did outside the city wall, when this guy came up and spit on me. It wasn’t the first time I had been spit on, so I was prepared, sort of, but then this guy smeared mud all over my face. Afterwards he said, “Your face is dirty. Go wash your face in the pool of Siloam.” He wasn’t as nasty as some have been, so I went.

“Little did I know that, when I washed my face, my sight would be given to me and that getting my sight would be the beginning of myriad, nightmarish problems.

“The first thing that happened after I washed my face was that this excruciating pain hit me in the head. I now know that it was light, but who would have thought that it would be so painful. When things started flying at me from all directions, I suddenly fainted. I guess it was sensory overload, or at least that is what some of the doctors have said.

“After that, the guys I used to hang with refused to talk with me because I didn’t belong anymore. Other people refused to recognize me at all. My friends have left me. Even my family turned on me.

“In the meantime, my means of making a living is gone. Having sight means that I can’t beg outside the city wall.

“Some think that I had been faking it all along, and so they have brought fraud charges against me, and the police are after me.  

“The temple is after me because they think I’m a new disciple of this Jesus guy, and they want me to point him out to them. I can’t get them to understand that I never saw the person and probably couldn’t identify him anyways.

“I still don’t know what half of the stuff I see is. I have to close my eyes and listen to stuff or touch it in order to know what most stuff is. I’m terrified of moving around the country because I don’t know if what I am seeing is safe or not. The other day I saw something dark in front of me, and, when I stepped on it, I fell all the way to the bottom of a cistern. I could have broken my neck. As it was, I was pretty scraped up. Who knew? If my eyes hadn’t been opened, if I had been using my stick, I would never have had that problem. Everyone wants me to be sighted, but I have no idea what that means!

“If I had asked for this, it might be different. But, I was just sitting there minding my own business. I want my life back. Short of that, I want compensation for all of the insults and disparaging comments I’ve endured. I never had much before, but I had blind faith and a good reputation. Now what do I have?

“People ought to be more considerate before they start showing off with their special powers. Did I ask for this? No!!! So, I think that it is only right that he ought to pay for my troubles.”