THE ANGELUS
TRUMPET
The
Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts
HICKORY
DICKORY DOCK or 3 BLIND MICE
In a startling report, Josh Kristy disciples are revealed to
be blind.
Dateline: Galilee, February 26, 17:01:09
by Matt Hughes
Following is a transcript of last evening’s broadcast courtesy of our
news affiliate ATTV: “If it’s news, it’s where we’re AT.”
Earlier today, Josh Kristy took with him Peter, James, and his brother John, who most think are his closest disciples, and led them up an undisclosed mountain. This reporter was able to follow at a distance and report these happenings to you through enhanced long-range digital camera and sound equipment.
Earlier today, Josh Kristy took with him Peter, James, and his brother John, who most think are his closest disciples, and led them up an undisclosed mountain. This reporter was able to follow at a distance and report these happenings to you through enhanced long-range digital camera and sound equipment.
It appears Kristy took these three disciples with him because, unbeknownst
before now, they are blind, thus limiting their ability to attest to the
strange occurrences that transpired at the ad hoc summit meeting where Moses
and Elijah were also ostensibly in attendance.
As the film begins, you can clearly see that Kristy’s appearance is
dramatically different from that at his recent gatherings. His face is glowing
brightly, and his clothes are sparkling white. The level of brilliance is high
enough to distort the image, yet the disciples seem to be unaware. They stand
together apparently preoccupied with their own conversation.
In this next clip, two apparitions, most likely Moses and Elijah, join
Kristy in what appears to be a serious communication of import and still the
disciples seem unaware. They continue to be preoccupied by their own concerns.
And here, you will notice one of the disciples, most likely Peter,
tugging on Kristy’s sleeve, still apparently unaware of the spectacle before
them, but excited about something.
In this last clip, a cloud, unlike anything our meteorologists can
describe or explain, appears, and, when isolated lightning and thunder were
seen and heard, the disciples fell flat on their faces as they tried in vain to
seek shelter.
And now we see Kristy helping Peter, James, and his brother John, up
onto their feet and hiking back down the mountain.
We asked our local specialist on paranormal occurrences, Dr. Yule
Ceboetter for his opinion of Kristy’s disciples’ reaction. “Well, it is
possible that the intensity of the brightness was such that their retinal sensors were overloaded and ceased to function,
but, I believe, that, if you look at your earlier shots, they indicate that
they were climbing, using walking sticks and holding on to one another on the
way up the incline. The film is not clear, but they certainly could be white
canes suggesting that they were blind before this unusual meeting took place.
Ceboetter continued, “Clearly, blindness is the only explanation for
their nonchalance at the beginning of this paranormal event. Any normal person
would have been overcome by such extranormal events and would have exhibited
physical reactions such as cringing or at least shading their eyes. Here you
see none of this. In fact, at the end of the second clip, we see Peter tugging
on Kristy’s sleeve without any show of noticing the circumstances around him.
Yes, in my considered opinion, they all must be blind.”
Ceboetter further opined, “But not deaf. You will notice in the third clip
that they all fell down as soon as there was thunder. This would indicate that
the lightning did not impress them, but the thunder certainly did. This would
confirm, I think, that they are all blind, but not deaf. I am just so delighted
that we have this permanent record of what really went on there.”
Ceboetter’s opinion was further substantiated when I caught up with
Kristy and his disciples. When asked about the appearances at the summit
events, John replied, “What appearances?” Before I could follow up, he rushed
off, saying, “I’m sorry, Josh is about to speak, and I want to listen to him.”
This reporter had not considered the importance of blind faith before
this. I had always thought it was a figure of speech.
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