Former Dead Guy Suing Jesus Also!

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

Former Dead Guy Suing Jesus Also!

Dateline: Bethany, April 2, 11:01:12:11

by Jack D. Sypal

Late Friday, Lazarus of Bethany, who we reported Jesus has brought back from the dead, joined I. Seituwell in suing Jesus for unwanted care. There seems to be considerable pushback against this miracle worker’s activities. Speculation has arisen that Lazarus and Seituwell may join forces with others in a class action suit. As political tensions rise and governmental pressures come to bear, could-be followers may choose to seek deep-pocket recompense.

Following is an interview account of the latest person to lay claim against Jesus.

“I mean, I thought [Jesus and I] were close. We had this real bromance going. So, when I was told that Jesus was going off without me, I was really hurt, like cut to the core hurt. I thought that we had something special going on there, and then he was gone with the rest of the guys.

“It wasn’t long after they left me, I was feeling pretty low, and then I got sick. I felt pretty lousy and had to go to bed for the day. My sisters, Mary and Martha, came in with some of that good Jewish penicillin around supper time, but it didn’t seem to be very appetizing. And if you know my sisters’ cooking, you would understand how unusual that was. In the middle of the night, I got this terrible stomachache and sweat started pouring out of me. That is about the last thing I remember for a while.

“My sisters would tell me they sent a message for Jesus to come, but no … I don’t know, maybe the message got crossed up or something, but he thought that he would hang for a couple of days.

Apparently, I got a lot worse. My temperature went sky high. I remember some time on the second day it felt like someone poured ice water in my belly. It hurt a lot; it was excruciating! When I asked my sisters about Jesus, they shook their heads. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t come.

“The next thing I remember, I was being called out. I was in this really peaceful place. I didn’t have any pain, and I was just totally chill, ya know? And then, this annoying voice started calling me out. I really just wanted to lay there. Then I noticed this stink. It was awful. It was sort of like being down at the slaughter yard on a hot day, standing near the fresh hides on one side and the blood pool and feces on the other. Yeah, it was pretty bad.

“And that voice kept nagging me, ‘Lazarus; come out, Lazarus; come out.’

“I finally recognized the voice as my man, but I thought, ‘What the hell? Why is he calling me now? He was the one who left me behind.’

“But finally, the smell got to me and I had to get out of there. That’s when I discovered that I was the smell. When I got out of the cave, I was struck by the sun, and the stench really took on a life of its own. And then I got a whiff of my own breath. Lord have mercy! It was enough to blow a fly off a gut-wagon. You know what I mean?

“Finally, people came and started stripping the wrappings off of me. I had to show my nakedness before all of those people. Public nudity is one thing, but I had pustules erupting on my body and skin sloughing going on. It was pretty disgusting.

“Most people looked at me with horror. They were petulantly pronouncing prognostications of pernicious, purulent, pustule pestilence. Penitents were prostrating themselves on the property, proposing persistent, pietistic popcorn-prayers of propitiation. Everyone was trying to hold their noses, and as soon as they could, they built a proper pyre for burning everything I had on. Even that smelled pretty preposterous.

“I spent hours in the bath trying to scrub the stink off, but after my skin started sliding off, I resorted to wiping my body off in nard. It didn’t get rid of the smell, but it masked it pretty well.

“Everybody thought that it was so cool; that I should be so thankful, but somehow, when I really needed [Jesus], he didn’t show. When I didn’t need him anymore, then he showed up, to do what? Leave me again?

“A couple of nights ago, my sisters invited him to supper; ‘To thank him,’ they said. Apparently I was still smelling pretty bad, so Mary went and got my nard and covered Jesus’ feet with it. The fragrance filled the whole house

“All I could think was, ‘Thanks, sis. Now what am I supposed to do tomorrow?’ I mean the stuff isn’t cheap. We may be wealthy, but we aren’t rich, if you know what I mean.

“Today I find out that there’s a contract out on me. Half the people are treating me like I’m a god, which I’m not; and the other half of the people treat me like I’m this zombie creature who will hex them for the rest of their lives, which I won’t. I can’t go back to work. I’m not even able to hang with my friends. It feels like the bromance is truly over, and I can’t get rid of this stink. If I can’t get my life back, I want pay back.”

It's Not About the Blind Guy, John 9:1-41

Before we begin, I want you to take a moment to think about one thing that you know well enough to teach someone else. It doesn’t need to be complicated or involved, and I’m not trying to say that it is the only thing or the most important thing you know. I just want it to be something that you feel competent in and something that you are comfortable sharing with others.

 

For me, this is one of the most difficult stories to preach on. And yet, it is one of the stories that I might be most qualified to talk with you about, but there is the difficulty. I could talk with you about this text for the next day or so and not run out of material and never get to the good news. So, let me say from the beginning that this text is not about a blind guy. It is all about identity, community, and acceptance.

Let us begin. At the beginning of this story, the identity of the person born blind is firmly established. He has a family. He has a job, that is, begging, and he has a community, the other professional beggars sanctioned by Scripture. His identity is that of the blind beggar. It is not an identity that people are going to study for, but he is recognized by his community and welcomed there. Where ever he would go to beg, he would be known and welcomed. He is one of a number of people who are permitted by Mosaic law to beg. Indeed, God’s people are commanded to share their alms with those who have the right to beg. Because he is an adult, he has probably been begging for years. He has made enough money at this job to support or help support himself and his family.

Although he is to be supported by the alms of the people, and is mentioned favorably in Leviticus 19:14, “Do not revile the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind. You shall fear your God! I am the Lord,” he is not allowed into the synagogue. As this story begins he is outside of the synagogue with his own identity. What happens next is that this man’s entire identity changes in a matter of moments. Afterwards this man who was formerly blind loses everything that has meant anything to him. His status in the community changes—those around him, his neighbors and others, challenge whether he is the same person or someone who looks like him amid his protestations of claiming to be the same person he used to be.

He is challenged by the synagogue court, brought before the Pharisees, and questioned about this new life he is leading. He is challenged to prove that he was not sighted before. At last his parents are brought before the synagogue, and, in fear, they turn away from their son and make him speak for himself since, as a sighted person, he is able to enter the synagogue.

Finally, after further questioning, the man is cast out of the synagogue, the synagogue he was not able to be part of before, and he sits outside the synagogue destitute. He has no identity. He has no profession. He has no community. He has no family. He has this gift of new vision, but no one to share it with. No one to share it with until Jesus finds this man again.

This story, which has most oftentimes been preached as this amazing miracle, a story of celebration, may be one of the greatest struggles in and of the Scriptures. As Jacob’s confrontation at the Jabbok river with God, that great wrestling match back in Genesis, resulted in a change in Jacob’s identity, so now the man who was formerly blind has a new identity. Jacob’s wrestling match changes his name from Jacob to Israel for he wrestled with God, and he carried the limp from his hip being dislocated for the rest of his life. This man will wrestle with seeing for the rest of his life, and yet he is never named. So, what is this story about?

As I said, I do not believe that this story is about the man born blind. It is all about identity, community, and acceptance. Further, I believe that this story is for us today and challenges us in all kinds of ways. Again, let us begin.

I cannot think of a time when we, that is the Church, have been challenged in our identity the way we are being challenged today. The old days of being able to be the moral compass of our communities, of being places where we could quietly study the Bible and get baptized, confirmed, married, and buried are gone. The days of living in a world where people assumed that everybody is Christian and that we lived in a Christian world (an illusion we often carry), are gone. The days of living quietly in our own corner of the world without concern for what is happening in other parts of the world is long time gone.

I tell you today, Christ is standing before us, mixing up the stuff of creation, God’s spit and dirt, forming us into a new Adam, a new community, with new ways of living. This is the world of artificial joints and limbs; heart transplants, kidney transplants and even lung transplants. We are living in a cyber-world that not only allows instant communication, but demands it. We live in a world that not only doesn’t care about the poor among us, it brags about creating systems that will continue to deprive the poorest of the poor of their very dignity. The days of food baskets anonymously showing up on our neighbors’ doorsteps as they did so many times in the midst of the Great Depression are long gone.

It is time for us to have our eyes opened. It is time to wrestle with the disapproval of those around us. It is time to even leave our families for the vision of God’s possibility kingdom before us. It will not be easy. But when it is all said and done, the one who searches out the outcasts will find us too, and that one will reveal himself to us, reminding us that we have met before, and that we will be able to walk together with a new identity received in the new life given to us in baptism, in the relationship with new eyes to see God’s work in the world, shaped from clay in his image, and claimed as children of God.

It has been many years since Daniel Berrigan said this, but his words are still true today. “The mark of a Christian is that you must look good on wood.” We are called, gathered, and challenged to see the world around us—to see the world around us with all of its sores and scabs, and then we are sent into that world to be the body of Christ for our neighbors, to be the ones who will stand before the outcasts of the world with words of encouragement and acceptance.

We are the ones who can offer the purifying waters of Siloam to a mud-covered, thirsty world that it might be sent with the living waters of endurance and hope, with the character of Christ and the anointing of the Holy Spirit. It is a hope that gives new identity. It is a hope that comes with pain. It is a hope that depends on and builds new communities of faith. It is a hope that accepts the gifts we have been given and uses them.

The man born blind receives his sight so that we might see. He suffers the challenges of that world so that we might know that there is life beyond rejection. He wrestles with his seeing and shows us the way to true vision in the one who makes all things possible, Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior. No, this story is not about the man born blind, it is about us today, the people of Albany Lutheran Church. You did not ask for it, but Jesus, while he was passing, stooped down and opened your eyes. What do you see? What are you going to do about it?

Again, let us begin. Remember that thing that you know well enough to teach? When are you going to start teaching it? How can we help you make that happen?

New World Vision

March 26, 2017

John 9 “I am the light of the world.”

Leviticus 19:14 “You shall not revile the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind; You shall fear your God: I am the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 27:18 “”Cursed be anyone who misleads a blind person on the road.” All the people shall say, “Amen!”

New World Vision

When, in a world of fearful darkness where disability and misfortune are regarded as signs of sin, Jesus and his disciples encounter a man born blind, Jesus sheds new light on the condition of blindness. It is not about sin, but “that the works of God might be revealed....” In a world of darkness, Jesus claims a place of light and vision: “As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

 

Jesus’ bold, challenging statement continues to lead Christians in their faith. In the Eucharist service, the assembly proclaims the great mystery of their faith: “Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again.” With this proclamation they recognize the historicity of the crucifixion, Christ’s continued presence in the world, and an eschatological future that includes Christ in all of history.

 

For a world that does not see the opportunities of community wholeness, but instead maintains a place of separateness, blindness continues to be a choice rather than a physical condition. In this darkness, however, Christ’s light continues to shine showing us a new way to live.

 

Christ continues to take the creative dust of the world and makes mud for the eyes of the blind to be washed away to enable them to see new ways of living. And from the baptismal waters, the cleansed, just like the blind man sent to wash in the pool of Siloam, see new ways of living and are sent into the world to witness to and cooperate in revealing God’s work of healing wholeness.

 

This new way of interacting with the world will not always be easy. There will be those who, like the Pharisees, challenge this new vision, but, with Christ’s presence before them, the faithful continue to believe and worship in their churches and daily lives in the daylight of Christ’s resurrection world.

Because the Stone Is Rolled Away

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Correction: Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

Correction

Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!

 

Dateline: Jerusalem, March 26, 09:01:41

by Jack D. Sypal

Some may not be able to admit that they are wrong, but we at The AngelUS Trumpet value revealing the complete truth. What follows is a corrected copy of Mr I. Seituwel’s statement published in today’s earlier edition. We apologize for this extreme case of parablepsis and over-correction resulting in mishandling the first paragraph in his statement of the situation. The full article is included for your convenience.

On Sabbath Day last, it is alleged that Jesus gave sight to a man who was blind from birth. Now this same former blind man is suing Jesus for lack of income, loss of companionship, and severe emotional distress.
I spoke with this man at length. What follows is Mr. I. Seituwel’s story in his own words. It is a rather lengthy statement, but I think you will find it enlightening, both as to how this itinerant “do-gooder” works and the ramifications of his actions.

“I was minding my own business, begging as I always did outside the city wall, when this guy came up and spit on me. It wasn’t the first time I had been spit on, so I was prepared, sort of, but then this guy smeared mud all over my face. Afterwards he said, “Your face is dirty. Go wash your face in the pool of Siloam.” He wasn’t as nasty as some have been, so I went.

“Little did I know that, when I washed my face, my sight would be given to me and that getting my sight would be the beginning of myriad, nightmarish problems.

“The first thing that happened after I washed my face was that this excruciating pain hit me in the head. I now know that it was light, but who would have thought that it would be so painful. When things started flying at me from all directions, I suddenly fainted. I guess it was sensory overload, or at least that is what some of the doctors have said.

“After that, the guys I used to hang with refused to talk with me because I didn’t belong anymore. Other people refused to recognize me at all. My friends have left me. Even my family turned on me.

“In the meantime, my means of making a living is gone. Having sight means that I can’t beg outside the city wall.

“Some think that I had been faking it all along, and so they have brought fraud charges against me, and the police are after me.  

“The temple is after me because they think I’m a new disciple of this Jesus guy, and they want me to point him out to them. I can’t get them to understand that I never saw the person and probably couldn’t identify him anyways.

“I still don’t know what half of the stuff I see is. I have to close my eyes and listen to stuff or touch it in order to know what most stuff is. I’m terrified of moving around the country because I don’t know if what I am seeing is safe or not. The other day I saw something dark in front of me, and, when I stepped on it, I fell all the way to the bottom of a cistern. I could have broken my neck. As it was, I was pretty scraped up. Who knew? If my eyes hadn’t been opened, if I had been using my stick, I would never have had that problem. Everyone wants me to be sighted, but I have no idea what that means!

“If I had asked for this, it might be different. But, I was just sitting there minding my own business. I want my life back. Short of that, I want compensation for all of the insults and disparaging comments I’ve endured. I never had much before, but I had blind faith and a good reputation. Now what do I have?

“People ought to be more considerate before they start showing off with their special powers. Did I ask for this? No!!! So, I think that it is only right that he ought to pay for my troubles.”

Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!

Dateline: Jerusalem, March 26, 09:01:41

by Jack D. Sypal

On Sabbath Day last, it is alleged that Jesus gave sight to a man who was blind from birth. Now this same former blind man is suing Jesus for lack of income, loss of companion-ship, and severe emotional distress.

I spoke with this man at length. What follows is Mr. I. Seituwel’s story in his own words. It is a rather lengthy statement, but I think you will find it enlightening, both as to how this itinerant “do-gooder” works and the ramifica-tions of his actions.

“I was minding my own business, begging as I always did outside the city wall, when this guy came up and spit on me. It wasn’t the first time I had been spit on, so I was prepared, sort of, but then this guy told me to go wash my face in the pool of Siloam. It’s not as nasty as some, so I went.

“Little did I know that, when I washed my face, my sight would be given to me and that getting my sight would be the beginning of myriad, nightmarish problems.

“The first thing that happened after I washed my face was that this excruciating pain hit me in the head. I now know that it was light, but who would have thought that it would be so painful. When things started flying at me from all directions, I suddenly fainted. I guess it was sensory overload, or at least that is what some of the doctors have said.

“After that, the guys I used to hang with refused to talk with me because I didn’t belong anymore. Other people refused to recognize me at all. My friends have left me. Even my family turned on me.

“In the meantime, my means of making a living is gone. Having sight means that I can’t beg outside the city wall.

“Some think that I had been faking it all along, and so they have brought fraud charges against me, and the police are after me.  

“The temple is after me because they think I’m a new disciple of this Jesus guy, and they want me to point him out to them. I can’t get them to understand that I never saw the person and probably couldn’t identify him anyways.

“I still don’t know what half of the stuff I see is. I have to close my eyes and listen to stuff or touch it in order to know what most stuff is. I’m terrified of moving around the country because I don’t know if what I am seeing is safe or not. The other day I saw something dark in front of me, and, when I stepped on it, I fell all the way to the bottom of a cistern. I could have broken my neck. As it was, I was pretty scraped up. Who knew? If my eyes hadn’t been opened, if I had been using my stick, I would never have had that problem. Everyone wants me to be sighted, but I have no idea what that means!

“If I had asked for this, it might be different. But, I was just sitting there minding my own business. I want my life back. Short of that, I want compensation for all of the insults and disparaging comments I’ve endured. I never had much before, but I had a good reputation. Now what do I have?

“People ought to be more considerate before they start showing off with their special powers. Did I ask for this? No!!! So, I think that it is only right that he ought to pay for my troubles.”

Well, Well, Well John 4:5-42

I had a professor in college who used to start the first class after an exam with “Well, well, well, it’s time to pretend that you are all students and that you can learn something that matters.” Then he would start passing out the tests. To some he would say, “You really gave me a bucket full.” To others he would say, “You didn’t strain yourself on the crank.” And to a very few he would say, “Your well was dry.”

Today I stand before you, and I want to say, “Well, well, well.” It’s time to deal with the issues at hand. It’s time to pretend that we really understand this story and talk about the things that matter. It is time to stop being so darned clever about what we think is happening in this story and deal with the story itself.

You see, when I was in seminary and for much of the time I have been in the public ministry of the church, scholars and commentaries on this text begin with the back story of the characters in this text. It seems like people have this uncontrollable urge to fill in the gaps.

The commentaries begin with why Jesus happened to be walking through Samaria. Why would he have been tired, needing a rest by the well? The scholars want to tell you what kind of a woman would be coming to the well at noon with her pitcher. These same people want to tell you that the impact of this story is concerned with Jesus’ need to forgive those who do not believe as they should. They want this text to be about baptism and dying to the old ways and living into the new ways.

I know, because I have been one of those who have chased that rabbit all the way down the hole only to find more and more puzzles to be solved. I tell you today, that although it is an entertaining road, there is nothing there. It is like pealing an onion. When each layer of the onion is peeled away, what do you have?

Well, let’s take a look at the onion. I think that there is more than enough for us to deal with there. At the time of this story, the Samaritans and the Judeans have been distancing themselves from one another. It is not really a feud, but it is more than an argument. There are all kinds of political and sociological issues at hand, but these are just another rabbit hole.

What matters is that Jewish men are not supposed to talk with Samaritan women. BUT, Jesus does. We do not know why Jesus has so much less energy than his disciples, why it is that he alone needs to rest by the well while his disciples go into town to get food. What we know is, Jesus rests there and the disciples go to get food.

What we know is that life requires water and this well has water. People are drawn to the well and people draw from the well. It is a gathering place. Wells in Jesus’ time gathered people like gas stations gather people today. You may not like everybody that pulls into the gas station, but you recognize that people need gas. Even if we are not driving, there are items of convenience that we find at the local gas station. We might want a doughnut, a bottle of pop, a gallon of milk, the daily newspaper, a cup of coffee, directions, a bathroom, local gossip. All of these are available at the local gas station, quick mart, or convenience store. Well, that is what the well was in Jesus’ time.

Well, Jesus is resting by the well when a woman comes to draw water from the well. Jesus breaks social conduct rules by speaking to this woman, and, in the course of their conversation, Jesus tells her what she needs to know in order to claim him as the messiah.

This woman returns to the town to share the knowledge of the newfound relationship she has with Jesus, and the town comes out to the local gathering place to meet him. They too enter into a relationship with Jesus, and because of this new relationship, they invite Jesus to stay with them. Because of his staying, they live different lives.

In the midst of this new relationship that is begun, the disciples return with food and are confused. They like the old borders. They like the security of believing that Jewish people are in a right relationship with God and the Samaritans are not part of that relationship. Well, they have to learn new ways too.

What we learn from this story is that Jesus is not only able to build relationships that break through our self-protective boundaries, he is willing to break through to the other side in ways that claim people as being sacred—more sacred than places. The day is coming and is now here when we will not worry about having a place to worship, but that the relationships we have with people will be the center of how we worship.  Worship will not be a where, but a who.

In the 7^th and 8^th articles of the Augsburg Confession, Lutherans proclaim that the church is nothing less than the people who are gathered, where the Word and the sacraments are rightly proclaimed and administered. Martin Luther and his learned associate Phillip Melanchthon understood, 500 years ago, that the church, in spite of what we think about our buildings, is God’s people gathered together for prayer, praise, and thanksgiving throughout the world.

Somewhere deep inside us, we too know that the church is not a building, that the church is all about people. For we have heard this story, and we are witnesses to the turf wars that can arise when we say that God can only be worshipped here; that God is here but not there. Well, Jesus lays the groundwork for our Lutheran understanding of the church to come.

 Well, when we strip away all of the “maybe this” and “maybe thats”, we are left with Jesus revealing himself as the Messiah for the first time in the Gospel of John. A woman, and this is important, is the first person to bear witness to Jesus’ messiahship, and because of her testimony, others come to be in relationship with Jesus.

This is not the only time in the book of John that women will be the proclaimers of Jesus as the messiah. We will hear these words again from Mary and Martha in a couple of weeks and we will hear the proclamation of the resurrection from Mary Magdalene a couple weeks after that.

What we are left with is the importance of women’s voices in the proclamation of the Gospel; of women’s voices identifying who Jesus is; of women’s voices calling us to the centers of social exchange as places where Christ’s presence can be found with new relationships of welcome and acceptance.

Another thing. It confuses the disciples and challenges them to think of the world in new and different ways; to embrace a world where the outsiders are welcomed into relationship with God’s covenant people.

Jacob’s well has not failed yet, and the life-giving living water of God’s word revealed to us in the person of Jesus Christ has not failed either. Give testimony to that relationship that gives you life, for indeed, we know that Jesus Christ is the salvation of the world.

All Is Well?

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

All Is Well?

Dateline: Sychar, Samaria, March 19, 04:05:42

by Jack D. Sypal

An itinerant rabbi and his rag-tag followers stopped at Jacob’s Well midday Friday. While the rabbi’s followers went into the city ostensibly to find food, the rabbi accosted one of Sychar’s female citizens.

This woman, who asked to not be identified, said she was wise to the rabbi’s gambit from the very beginning. “I have read those stories of women going to the well and men begging for water. That is how Rebecca got hornswoggled and Rachel got married eventually. It is how Moses entrapped Zipporah. I was on to him from the get-go. So, when he told me to give him water, I challenged him to show his true colors. I wasn’t going to get involved with any deadbeat and his homies.”

As it turned out, the tables got turned on this unsuspecting woman. It appears that the rabbi was something of a clairvoyant, telling her of her past. After disclosing to her her background, she contacted townspeople to check him out.

The rabbi was detained on a 48-hour security hold. Officer Gaelor said, “We invited him to stay with us for a couple of days, and he didn’t resist at-all, at-all.”

Today, all seems well. The rabbi and his posse were allowed to go on their way without any charges.

A Story Looking for a Home John 7:53-8:11

The Story of the Adulterous Woman, or at least that is what we have come to know it by, is one of those really interesting stories of the Bible. We read it tonight from the Gospel of John, but its place in the longer proclamation of John’s Gospel is somewhat tenuous. It carries with it a footnote stating that the earliest accounts of John do not have this story in it. It further states that some Bibles place this story at the end of John and others place it in the Gospel of Luke.

 What we know is that, after Jesus was crucified and raised up from the grave, stories were told about him and about the contacts that people had had with him. Many of these stories were collected into what we now know as the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), but there were some stories that were not immediately included. In fact, there are a number of stories that have never been included. We know this from the end of the Gospel of John when the Gospel writer states, “These stories have been told so that you might believe. There are other stories, but if they were all told, they could not be contained in a book.” Apparently, this story is one of those extra stories, and the importance of it for the early Christian community was so important that it was eventually included in the accounts that we have about Jesus. It was an orphan story that was crying out for a place, and it has eventually found its place here in the Gospel of John.

 Let us understand that there are a number of problems with this story. For instance, if we read the laws concerning adultery and the penalties for committing adultery in Deuteronomy, we see that, if a woman is to be punished for adultery, the man she committed it with should also be brought forward and stoned. Yet here we find no man. The scribes and Pharisees have only brought the woman. What to do?

 Another problem is we see Jesus writing on the ground, not once but twice, yet we are never told the significance of the writing. What about that? (I had a classmate in seminary that used to draw cartoons of various biblical passages, and he drew one for this story. In the first frame, you see Jesus and a woman and an angry crowd. In the second frame, Jesus is facing the crowd saying, “Let the one without sin throw the first stone.” In the third frame, you see Jesus with his finger on the ground, and you see what he is writing. It’s a tic-tac-toe board.)

 This is an orphan story looking for a place, and, as I looked at this story more carefully, thinking about what is going on, I came to believe that what we have is a story that is not about sin but rather of repentance and forgiveness. That is why it’s importance was great enough to merit inclusion in our greater narrative of God’s love and caring. For indeed, it found its way into our spiritual narrative; it demanded to be included in our Scripture place; and, although its place is tenuous, it is a part of our spiritual identity today.

 I have come to think that this story is like us. Each of us has our own story of how we came to be here this evening. Each of us has our own story of faith and challenge, of sin and the need for forgiveness. We hear these words of Jesus, “Let those around you without sin be your judge.” And with these words we discover that we are incapable of being judges. We seek and find a place of forgiveness and the need for that forgiveness. In that time, we find our place in the faith story and our stories of community, of our need for one another, and the work we need to do to be forgiven and the work we need to do to forgive.

 This challenging story is not just looking for a place in Scripture, it is looking for a place in our hearts. And with this story, we too cry out for a place of inclusion with our own stories. We too cry out with the need of recognition and value and peace.

 So, we come to this place, gathered together, sharing our stories of joys and sorrows, our successes and our failures; sharing our lives, that communal creation story, that continuous narrative of our need of God’s love, that thing we call the living word of Christ among us, being the living word of God’s hope-filled activity in the world. We are not seeking to be the ones who judge but the ones who seek to proclaim Christ’s words of grace and love.

 Jesus stooped down, and he wrote on the ground. He wrote in the dirt, in the humus, and, through this, we are reminded of our humanity. We are reminded of our first ancestor being handcrafted from the dirt and God’s breath being breathed into us and the words that created us. As the spoken word gave life to us from the goodness of the humus, so now the writing in that humus promises new ways of living for all humans, and we find our own human identity. Through this earthy writing, we find the words of life, and light, and loving forgiveness.

 We stand before Christ, always in a state of needing forgiveness and always in that state of grace, of God’s underserved love and forgiveness. This unusual status calls us, names us, and holds us as God’s children in God’s world. May we always know God’s love and forgiveness as we go out among God’s people, as we gather here, as we share our stories, as we live into the ages in Christ’s living word for the sake of the world.

Merely to Remind Myself John 3:1-17

After I lost my sight for the first time, my mom bought me a number of record albums of musicals. You might remember albums, they were those 12 inch diameter vinyl discs. You put them on a thing called a record player, and then you had to take the needle arm and place it on the record album. I know, it was primitive, but that was the way we did things in those days.

One of the albums was the Hans Christian Andersen musical with Danny Kaye, and one of the songs I liked the best was a song that Hans Christian Andersen sings while he is walking down the road one day. Here are the words as I remember them:

“I write myself a note each day, and I put it in my hat./ The wind comes by, the hat blows high, but that’s not the end of that./ For ‘round and ‘round the world it goes./ It lands here right behind myself./ I pick it up, and I read the note/ which is merely to remind myself/ I’m Hans Christian Anderson.”

There are times in our lives when we need to be reminded of who and whose we are. Today’s text is one of those reminders. In the midst of the darkness of our world, as we long to see the light of truth, as we wander through the testings of our lives, we need to know who and whose we are and what value we have.

In the searching, we discover that who we are has little to do with what we do, but everything to do with whose we are and what God is doing for us each and every day. We need to be reminded that it is not what we do, it is what God has done and is doing today.

How many times have we seen the signs at sporting events that say 3:16? The first time I saw one of those signs, I thought, “Wow! What a great testimony.” And then I saw it more and more. I even heard it announced on the radio stations that broadcasted the games.

In an interview after one of the games, one reporter asked a sign bearer what it meant to them? The woman’s response made me cringe. She said something like, “It means so much to me that God loves the world this much and unless people believe in God’s love, they will all be damned.” This woman had found the perfect way to makes God’s amazing gift of love and caring into a club to beat people with. This is because we have all learned this verse and carry it with us in so many ways, but we have forgotten the verse that goes along with it: “God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.” Not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.

In these few words, we are reminded that we are not the ones who save people. It is Jesus who saves—Jesus, the only son of God, in the communion of the Holy Spirit. We can assure one another of the forgiveness of our sins, but it is God who does the forgiving. On Sunday mornings, when we confess our sins and I make the declaration of forgiveness, it is not me that is forgiving you. It is God who forgives you; I am only the vehicle of transmission.

Yes, we claim that we have sinned in thought, word and deed; by what we have done and by what we have left undone. We have declared before God and one another that, by ourselves, we are hopeless sinners, and so we turn to God, justified by Christ’s death and resurrection, for that forgiveness and hope that we need for the future. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, we receive what we need.

Now any Christian can hear the confession of another Christian and assure them of God’s love and forgiveness absolving them of their sins, but, in our public worship, it is the privilege of the pastor to give that public assurance. So it is that I can say, “In the mercy of almighty God, Jesus Christ was given to die for us, and for his sake, God forgives our sins. As a called and ordained minister of the Church of Christ and by Christ’s authority—by Christ’s authority—, I declare to you the forgiveness of all of your sins.” And when that declaration is made, I seal you in God’s love, not in my name, but in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

It isn’t me, it is the continuing work of Christ in the Holy Spirit that continues to forgive and hold us in that right relationship with God and one another. Indeed, “God so loves the world that God gave his only son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

This everlasting life is something that is given to us in Baptism. In those waters, with God’s Word, through the work of the Holy Spirit, we die and are raised up into new life. We hear those words that Jesus commanded his disciples to do at the end of Matthew, “Go into all nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.” Baptize them into that new relationship of love and caring.

So it is that we come today to witness Nicodemus coming to Jesus in the night, in the darkness of his world, in that most creative time of God--the night—remembering that in the darkness God creates the light; in the darkness of night God speaks all of the cosmos into being, that in the darkness of the world, even we were brought into being and invited to share in the benefits of creation; and, in the darkness of the night and our world, Christ’s light of hope continues to shine. This light shines in a way that does not condemn the world but lights the way forward in hope and forgiveness in and through the work of Christ.

I write myself a note each day, and I put it in my hat. The wind of the Spirit comes by, the hat blows high, but that is not the end of that. For ‘round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round the world, the Spirit blows, and it drops my hat behind myself. I pick it up, and I read the note, which is merely to remind myself that I am Peter Todd Heide, a child of God, baptized in the waters of Baptism, and claimed by God.

As the serpent is lifted up in the wilderness so the Son of Man will be lifted up that all the world will see and know of God’s desire for the healing wholeness that only comes from Godself.

May you always walk in the assurance of God’s love for you.

In the Shade of a Tree

In the Shade of a Tree

Peter T. Heide, 2014

 

In the shade of a tree,
Where others will come,
I sit with my brothers

To beg coin for home.

With the shame of the blind,

By law, marked as sin,

One asks whose the fault is—

“Is his or his kin?”

Then a voice from another

Sighs, “Neither the case.

God’s glory’s in each child

Created in Grace.”

I next heard one spitting.

I braced for the spray,

Got mud on my eyelids;

And then, sent away

To wash in Siloam,

Erased the disgrace.

I washed in those waters

And new life embraced—

A life of new vision,

Creation to see:

Great things they called buildings

And things they called trees.

But then rumors started.

“It’s all been a scam.

If he’s the blind beggar,

His life is a sham.”

But others there stated,

Amid all the din,

“It’s not the blind beggar,

It’s one of his kin.”

I tried to assure them.

“’Though now that I see,

I am the same person.

In Christ, it is me!”

Some came with suspicion.

Oh, how can this be?

The one who was born blind

Is able to see?

I told them of Jesus,

His spit and the mud,

The waters of sending

And vision of good.

They said, “This is nonsense!”

“You sinner!” they cried

“Your teachings are foolish!

Be gone! Go outside!”

In the shade of a tree

Where others will come,

I pray for belonging,

A place to call home;

And then one approaches

With faith to receive

A world of belonging.

O Lord, I believe.

In you there is vision

With new ways to live,

Embracing each other

With gifts that you give.

From the waters, we’re sent;

And so, we now come,

Your vision proclaiming

Of new life and home;

A home where all people

Are welcomed in love,

All sharing the gifts that

We have from above.

No matter our natures

Received at our birth,

We’re sent from the waters

Of death and new birth.

New Program from Nick at Night?

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET           

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

 

New Program from Nick at Night?

Dateline: Jerusalem, March 12, 03:01:17

by Jack D. Sypal

Surrogate Pharisee party representative and Sanhedrin judge, Nicky diMaosi was seen speaking with Kingdom of Dodd fashion house owner and NU Food magnate, Josh Kristy, in an undercover, late-night meeting in a local “bath house and spa” yesterday. A transcript of their conversation was leaked to this reporter early this morning

DiMaosi, often identified as “Nicky D”, in certain circles, continues to represent the Pharisee party, but he sought to curry favor from Kristy eliciting promises of quid pro quo for continuing his moderating voice within the Pharisees.

In negotiations concerning watering down bar beverages at the spa and their network outlets, diMaosi said, “Since we can generate more water with the spirits, there can be greater profits for the Kingdom of Dodd.”

Other comments centered around some questionable sexist remarks that are beyond the scope of this article and speculative genetic manipulation testing. After one of Kristy’s comments, diMaosi queried, “Is it possible for an old man to re-enter the womb?”

Little is known yet about what outcomes may result from this covert operation, but Kristy, when asked whether he had other undisclosed contacts with Nicky diMaosi before last night responded, “My purpose in life is to make the world a better place. I still believe that the world, even in the midst of crisis, can be saved.”

Future events will tell the story.

Wilderness Testing Matthew 4:1-11

We’ve been telling this story about Jesus in the wilderness for roughly two thousand years. Yet, in the last ten to twenty years, scholars have been looking at this story anew. They have concluded that as God’s word continues to be a living thing among God’s people, as it continues to draw us into thinking about God’s words in today’s context, and as we continue to diligently unpack the original language and sharpen our translating skills, fresh and maybe even better ways of telling the story of Jesus’ time in the wilderness emerge. It is not that we have been wrong, but that there are nuances in this story that are waiting to be highlighted that help us appreciate this testing ground story more fully.

One of our recent observations is that when we preach this story, as preachers we need to make the stronger connection of this story to the baptism of Jesus and disconnect it from the Mountain of Transfiguration. As the season of Epiphany started with Jesus’ baptism, so now Lent begins with the end of that baptism story.

For many years we have been so preoccupied with the forty days and the forty nights in the wilderness and connecting the symbolism of the forty days to the forty days of Lent, to the forty days and nights of Moses on Mount Sinai and the giving of the Ten Commandments, to the forty days and forty nights of Noah’s flood time and the restoration of the world through him and his family, to the Israelites’ forty years in the wilderness after leaving Egypt, that we have forgotten that this story is part of the greater account of Jesus’ baptism.

In our preaching, the Church has forgotten to strengthen the understanding that God, with the Holy Spirit, does not send people out into wilderness time to create believers, but that God, with the Holy Spirit, sends us out into the wilderness because we are believers. God sends Jesus into the wilderness with the confidence of a Father who knows his son is equipped to engage the wilderness.

So it is that we witness Jesus coming up out of the waters of baptism and the Spirit coming down from heaven and alighting on him. With Jesus, we hear God’s words, “This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased,” and then we witness the Holy Spirit leading Jesus into the wilderness. This is not a time to discover if Jesus is the Son of God, but a time of witnessing who Jesus is as the Son of God.

Recent scholars who have noticed this shift in translating the story prefer to record this dialogue between the devil and Jesus in statements rather than questions. The devil is not confused about who Jesus is, and so he says, “Since you are the son of God, do this or that. Since you are the son of God, then you were there when the world was spoken into existence, so speak these stones into bread.”

It is like those questions we ask when we are children. Since God is all powerful, can God create a stone that is greater than what God can lift? Or, since angels have no substance, how many can stand on the head of a pin? Since Jesus rose from the dead, why isn’t our world better than it is? Since Jesus has the power to heal, why doesn’t he heal everybody?”

So, I bring this question to you today. What is the difference between testing and tempting? I ask this question because I believe this story is more about testing than it is about tempting. It is more about standing up for who we are than discovering who we are. It is more about determining what authority is rather than discovering whether Jesus has authority. This authority is more complicated than performing a few magic acts like speaking stones into bread or jumping over tall buildings in a single bound and has much more to do with bowing down before the powers that defy God in the world. It is much more about not being distracted and seduced by the splendor of power but living in a right relationship with God.

We probably all know the proverb, “If you give a hungry person a fish, you feed that person for a day, but if you teach hungry people to fish, you can feed them for a lifetime.” The challenge we witness today is, “Since you are the Son of God, solve the problem of world hunger. Speak these stones into bread.” But the real issue is not only about whether people are being fed, it is whether people know how to be fed and how to feed themselves.

Our challenge today is not about whether the Son of God can throw himself from the pinnacle and not be destroyed, but it is about our faith in God which does not depend on spectacular magic acts of entertainment for belief; an understanding that God’s power in our midst goes beyond the spectacular to the strength of a saving, grace-filled relationship with us. It is not about the glory and the splendor of the kingdoms and the power and authority that we might have within them, but it is all about God’s grace, that is God’s undeserved love, and our ability to live with one another. It is not always pretty; it is not the Hollywood romance; rather, it is part of what happens in our everyday lives, in the kind word, the loving touch, or the blessings we give and receive.

There is a difference here between test and temptation. In the middle of a test we are sometimes tempted to take short cuts, to make quick fixes without considering the systemic problems causing the need in the first place. A few years ago, Dr.  Craig Nessan wrote a book called, “Give Us This Day.” In it he shows that the problem with world hunger is not that we don’t have enough food in the world to feed all the people of the world; the problem is being able to distribute the food we have to the people who need it. He discusses what some of the problems we have in organizing that distribution. The problems seem so big that one is daunted in even considering whether or not to try to overcome the problem. Yet, in part, because of Dr. Nessan’s book and a deep concern and commitment from our Lutheran brothers and sisters, through organizations like Lutheran World Relief and the Lutheran World Hunger Appeal, in part because of you supporting our synod and our churchwide organization, and your faithful presence in the world, policies are being changed, work is being done, and we are finding ways of getting that indispensable food from one place to another.

I know I told you the story last year, but I am going to tell you again. While working with some young people studying this passage, I asked them why it was important for Jesus to not change the stones into bread. Those young people argued about it for a while, and then one of the young women said, “It’s sort of like when my parents have a dinner party. When the people first arrive, they may stand around and talk with a drink, and they may take some food from the hors d’oeuvre table, but no one takes plates and plates of food then.”

When I asked her how that helped us understand Jesus changing stones into bread, she said, “They don’t take a lot of food then because they know that the dinner is coming.”

When I pushed her on that she looked at me and said, “Well, duh! Jesus didn’t come to be an hors d’oeuvre for us, he came to be the whole meal.”

In the systems of how we live with one another, at the systemic level of what we need to live, there is more than food. So Jesus says, “One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” In order to live healthy lives, in healthy relationships, we need bread and God’s words of forgiveness, God’s assurance of grace, that is God’s undeserved love. We need the whole body of Christ, not just an hors d’oeuvre, to walk in the knowledge of God’s presence with us each and every day.

The Gospel story is an account of that assurance. It tells us that Jesus is the Son of God; even the devil recognizes this. The test is to see whether Jesus will go for the quick fix, immediate gratification, or whether Christ’s authority includes a longer plan that will address the systematic problems of our world.

So we begin our Lenten season this year, remembering that we too are being tested (not to discover whether we believe, but because we do believe) because together we are the Body of Christ. I know that you have heard the test come in various words, but the test is often worded something like this. “Since you are the body of Christ in the world, solve the world problems. Make all of the relationships of the world beautiful and pleasing. Make peace happen.”

If we just work at the surface level without considering the systemic problems like racism, classism, sexism, and ableism, we don’t get to the core of the problem. The symptoms may go away for a while, but the problems will continue to arise. It would be so nice if we could just pray everything away, but our life involvement in Christ is required. We, with Christ, must stand against the forces that draw us away from God and stand up for who and whose we are.

In this Lenten season, we will continue to walk together with the assurance of Christ’s presence. We will journey to the cross, and we will explore the many relationships we have in Christ’s resurrection world. We will be with Nicodemus in the night. We will be with the Syrophoenician woman at the well. We will be with the blind man who receives sight, and we will witness Lazarus rising from the dead. Each of these meetings have complicated systemic problems that are raised for us to consider as we live into God’s word and God’s world with God’s people. May you know God’s blessings in this Lenten time.