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Former Blind Guy Sues Jesus!
Dateline: Jerusalem, March 26, 09:01:41
by Jack D. Sypal
On Sabbath Day last, it is alleged that Jesus gave sight to
a man who was blind from birth. Now this same former blind man is suing Jesus
for lack of income, loss of companion-ship, and severe emotional distress.
I spoke with this man at length. What follows is Mr. I. Seituwel’s
story in his own words. It is a rather lengthy statement, but I think you will
find it enlightening, both as to how this itinerant “do-gooder” works and the
ramifica-tions of his actions.
“I was minding my own
business, begging as I always did outside the city wall, when this guy came up
and spit on me. It wasn’t the first time I had been spit on, so I was prepared,
sort of, but then this guy told me to go wash my face in the pool of Siloam. It’s
not as nasty as some, so I went.
“Little did I know that, when I washed my face, my sight
would be given to me and that getting my sight would be the beginning of myriad,
nightmarish problems.
“The first thing that
happened after I washed my face was that this excruciating pain hit me in the
head. I now know that it was light, but who would have thought that it would be
so painful. When things started flying at me from all directions, I suddenly
fainted. I guess it was sensory overload, or at least that is what some of the
doctors have said.
“After that, the guys I used to hang with refused to talk
with me because I didn’t belong anymore. Other people refused to recognize me
at all. My friends have left me. Even my family turned on me.
“In the meantime, my means of making a living is gone. Having
sight means that I can’t beg outside the city wall.
“Some think that I had been faking it all along, and so they
have brought fraud charges against me, and the police are after me.
“The temple is after me because they think I’m a new
disciple of this Jesus guy, and they want me to point him out to them. I can’t
get them to understand that I never saw the person and probably couldn’t identify
him anyways.
“I still don’t know what half of the stuff I see is. I have
to close my eyes and listen to stuff or touch it in order to know what most
stuff is. I’m terrified of moving around the country because I don’t know if
what I am seeing is safe or not. The other day I saw something dark in front of
me, and, when I stepped on it, I fell all the way to the bottom of a cistern. I
could have broken my neck. As it was, I was pretty scraped up. Who knew? If my
eyes hadn’t been opened, if I had been using my stick, I would never have had
that problem. Everyone wants me to be sighted, but I have no idea what that
means!
“If I had asked for this, it might be different. But, I was
just sitting there minding my own business. I want my life back. Short of that,
I want compensation for all of the insults and disparaging comments I’ve
endured. I never had much before, but I had a good reputation. Now what do I
have?
“People ought to be more considerate before they start
showing off with their special powers. Did I ask for this? No!!! So, I think
that it is only right that he ought to pay for my troubles.”
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