The
Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts
RENEGADE RABBI RAMPAGE
by Matt Hughes
Dateline: Jerusalem, April 9, 21:01:17
Continuing unrest is reported in Jerusalem. The latest, an
impromptu demonstration protesting both Roman rule and Temple practices, erupted
Sunday morning. The renegade rabbi, Jesus of Nazareth, was seen in the midst of
the mob riding a donkey and leading a colt. His personal associates allegedly illegally
appropriated said animals earlier in the day.
The gathering crowd, upon recognizing Jesus, called for the
restoration of King David’s throne and threw articles of clothing as well as
palm branches before him. Many heralded the renegade rabbi with shouts of “Lord,
save us” and “Lord from the highest heaven”.
Jesus, upset by temple business, which fleeces many Passover pilgrims, entered the temple court of the gentiles. The rampaging rabbi drove out buyers and sellers, overturned tables of the temple moneychangers, and released many of the sacred, sacrificial animals. The resulting cloud of pigeons anointed many underneath.
In the midst of the turmoil, this reporter interviewed a demonstrator, one Simon Tanner. When asked if he knew the leader, he replied, “This is the prophet, Jesus of Nazareth from Galilee.” Some beggars from the temple gates also came into the temple grounds claiming that they had been blind and lame but Jesus had healed them. Street urchins ran among the demonstrators adding to the confusion, shouting, “Hosanna to the son of David.”
Having created chaos, Jesus of Nazareth withdrew with his looters
to an unknown location in Bethany where he was hidden from authorities.
Jesus of Nazareth is a recalcitrant rabbi who has appeared on the scene from time to time. If you see this renegade rabbi, do not listen to him or come into close contact with him. It is unlikely that this troubled teacher would inflict injury, but he has been known to change people’s lives without considering future consequences. Jack D. Sypal continues to follow several lawsuits people have brought as a result of these actions.
Like today, this man disappears before authorities can apprehend him. Since he is likely to return to the Temple area and grounds in the future, Rome and Temple authorities are asking for your help. They urge you to immediately notify the Temple guard or any Roman soldier. Claims that he is the new King of the Jews continue to perplex politicos and ruffle Roman feathers. Whispers of treason abound.
No comments:
Post a Comment