Trouble in Paradise

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

Trouble in Paradise

Collusion with EVaL 1 Suspected

by Matt Hughes
Dateline: Capernaum, July 23, 13:24:30

With the new growing season just underway, suspected agri-sabotage took place at the Kingdom of Dodd (KoD) NU-Food Paradise Farms. Someone, apparently, found a way to introduce toxic invasive weed seeds into the Paradise Farms test plots. It is not known at this time what damage has been done. No group has come forward yet to claim responsibility for this atrocious behavior although the organization known as Earth Vandals & Looters is strongly suspected.

Due to the overall crop saturation, authorities suspect that one or more KoD workers were involved. Those Paradise Farms workers who first reported the situation and volunteered to go into the fields to uproot the weeds, which also would damage the test crop, are now being questioned. If involved, these workers may have colluded, wittingly or unwittingly, with a third party to ensure the success of the agri-terrorist actions.

According to Paradise Farms Director T. Farmer, “This is not the first act of agri-terrorism that has taken place. There is a long history of cheap tricks and deceptive practices through the years. Some have truly resulted in catastrophic outcomes. You’ll remember that Eden Gardens was a real going-concern until an unscrupulous land speculator tricked the owners into rash actions resulting in foreclosure and eviction. This is just another agri-terrorist action that only slows Kingdom of Dodd efforts for a better world.”

Earth Vandals & Looters has been aggressive in agri-terrorist sabotage in the past. It even boasts of its destructive work, claiming that they are the best at what they do. As such they claim the title of being number one and are known in the anti-establishment fringe as EVaL 1.

Dir. T. Farmer says that until they have a better way to deal with this latest act of agri-terrorism, wisdom dictates that Paradise Farms will accept a potentially lower yield due to the weed infestation rather than damage the NU-Food plants through soil disruption and root entanglements. Farmer said, “In an odd way, EVaL 1 has done us a favor. We now get to see how this new strain of wheat will do under adverse conditions. We look forward to the harvest results of what I think is good seed.”

The Farms laboratories are developing NU-Seed strains to address food shortages and nutrition insufficiencies around the world. They hope they can soon guarantee greater yields with higher nutrition values.