HOW HIGH CAN YOU FLY?

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

HOW HIGH CAN YOU FLY?

Dateline: Ole Land? June 25, 10:24:39
by Matt Hughes

Kristy followers are claiming credit for solving the labor crisis last week. Today, crop yields are coming in on time and the harvest looks good. Yet, Josh Kristy was heard to admonished his followers to remember that they didn’t do it on their own. The Kingdom of Dodd [KoD] and the power of the KoD “anything is possible spirit” had something to do with it, not to mention Kristy’s directive and confidence in their work.

While Kristy warned his supporters that they were starting to get “too big for their britches”, he also assured them of their importance and value to the NU-Food movement, saying they were “more valuable than many sparrows.” There is an apparent hierarchical structure within KoD enterprises—from low to high: sparrow, dove, lamb, goat, sheep, heifer, and bullock.

Kristy also told his followers they are “worthy of the work ahead of them” because the KoD vision for new ways of living was worthy in itself. If they kept with the program, they could advance through the ranks. He said, “If you endure to the end, the sky is the limit.” Kristy continues to prepare his followers for more challenges as the vision of Kristy’s KoD and its place in the world expands.

Kristy said, “The greatness of the Kingdom of Dodd vision is that we can provide the basic materials and goods people will need. Then each community of adherents is able to utilize these basic goods and materials in a way that best serves the people themselves. In finding the best way to use what we can provide, the world community and the environment are made better.”

Police Chief Niels Forkross is concerned that recent reports of increased domestic disputes and violence are somehow related to KoD. He described the current climate, “We have always had some minor household disputes, but this Kingdom of Dodd movement seems to bring out a level of violence that is unanticipated. The whole mother-in-law/daughter-in-law thing is pretty understandable. It’s been around since Seth first got married, but fathers claiming that their children should be put to death went out with Abraham and Isaac. Kids used to think that they needed to find themselves, but this seems different.”

It is hard to project the outcome of this movement. As the work of Kristy and his followers continues, so will the coverage of The AngelUS Trumpet.