JOY OF THE MASTER

THE ANGELUS TRUMPET

The Unexpurgated Source for Alternative Bible Facts

JOY OF THE MASTER

by Matt Hughes 

Dateline: Jerusalem, Nov. 19, 2017, 25:14:30

Officials closed down a money laundering operation at the Hippodrome earlier today. Police received a tip to an illegal betting and money laundering scheme. Duke McMaster, owner of racehorse Joy of the Master and underworld drug cartel overlord, is accused of manipulating races and passing money through off-track betting (OTB) and track betting at the same time.

The scheme seemed to work well for a while. A number of McMaster’s colleagues bet on Joy of the Master using money McMaster had gained through drug trafficking. By betting on his own horse, and bribes made to jockeys so as to control the outcome of those races, McMaster was able to make his money look legitimate.

It is estimated that it cost McMaster up to 20% of his initial capital, but when the process was completed, McMaster had money that he could legitimately use without fear of tax fraud charges until yesterday afternoon when suddenly things fell apart.

Three men were to make bets on Joy of the Master in the 7th race to win. At race time, Joy of the Master was running at even money. Earlier, Phillip Pokette went to the betting window placing $50K to win. Seymour and Barrymore Cash were to also place bets of $20K and $10K, respectively. At the end of the day, when each had won, the plan was they were to turn over their winnings to McMaster less a small percentage.

Problems arose after Seymour Cash made his bet. The window was closed before Barrymore Cash was able to make the third bet finishing the deal. Barrymore Cash feared McMaster’s ultimate reprisals when he would be able to only give back the money McMaster had given him. Because he knew McMaster has a violent temper, Barrymore Cash decided to turn State’s evidence and enter the witness protection program rather than face McMaster’s wrath.

Barrymore Cash’s statement has led to the arrests of brother Seymore Cash, Pokette, and McMaster. New indictments are expected in the coming days as investigations continue concerning race fixing, jockey bribes, OTB parlor managers, and several track officials. It is suspected that more than 100 people have entered into the Joy of the Master kingdom of fraud.

Track officials report that there has been much handwringing, weeping, and gnashing of teeth as this story unfolds. Track steward, Horace Cense, stated, “This has thrown the entire horse racing industry into utter darkness.”