Monday, April 2, 2018

NICKEY'S NOTES -- Holy Host

My dear friends,

We sometimes have difficulty dealing with change, so I thought that I should warn you about the newest worship ware. If you notice a change in your communion wafer, don’t be alarmed.

Worship attendance is down in traditional churches across the country. Some businesses associated with worship have experienced critical short-falls this past year. One of these companies is Holy Host, maker of fine communion wafers and table wines for sacramental use.

When interviewed, C. H. Allis, president and CEO of Holy Host said, “With the increased popularity of non-denominational churches and their lack of emphasis of the Eucharist, sales of sacramental wafers and wines has been soggy in the last three quarters, but we expect sales will rise soon as we introduce our new products. Research and Development has been market-testing a new niche market. We think that we have a product that is ready to meet the needs of the 21st century church.”

Holy Host intends to introduce wafers made in liturgical colors and flavored to get away from the old tasteless wafers to which we have become accustomed. These new wafers will be available April 1st.

Advent blue are blueberry-flavored. Alternatively, for those denominations still adhering to purple and pink, the concord grape wafers have a fine fruity taste; the pink wafers are peppermint (a sacramental Chablis is recommended for this Sunday).

Christmas and Easter white maintain the tradition of the ages for those who are adverse to change.

Ash Wednesday black has a bold licorice flavor. Lenten purple reprises the concord grape.

Pentecost red, is a fine full-flavored pomegranate.

For Sundays in ordinary time, primarily the Sundays after Pentecost, two greens will be offered. Lime is perfect for the early part of the season which includes those hot days in June, July and August. A salty green olive is recommended for the latter part of the season as harvest and fall colors approach. This one would help communicants remember that they are to be salt of the earth.

These wafers offer great flexibility for use—chips for church casino nights; embossed with bingo numbers in sets of seventy-five to prevent game tampering; special red editions for Lutherans embossed with numbers and a thesis on each wafer in packs of ninety-five; and special pricing for wafers blessed by the Pope.

With a little salt, the lime wafers could make a tasty picnic snack with an alternate beverage. The olive green ones could be threaded on a pick to be added to another beverage as well.

There has even been some thought given to embossing congregational identification numbers on one side with the name of the church on the other. As you travel and visit other churches, you could collect or trade holy moments with friends you meet along the way. Collector booklets could also be published.

C. H. Allis noted, “Some of these items are still in development, but I think that they really have possibilities for the future of Holy Host. Our goal is to give greater meaning to the ritual practices of church people and make a statement of faith. Let there be no doubt, “In God we trust; we believe in spreading that trust throughout the world; and we believe in Holy Host.”

Dealing from the bottom,
Your Joker,
Casino Nick de Mouse

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