COFFEE AND AMPHETAMINE SALES UP

THE SON TIMES
The Gateway Gospel of Destiny

COFFEE AND AMPHETAMINE SALES UP

by Marc Yul Angelou

Chicago, December 3, 2017, 13:24:37--Recent world events and the prognostications of hypercritical, religious pundits have led to record high pharma sales as the fervor of the latest in religious zealotry promotes what they are calling, “The Final Waiting.”

The latest reports of earthquakes, hurricanes, decimation of the vineyards of California from fire, the potential nuclear conflict with North Korea, increasing temperatures of climate change, and the apparent disregard of one nation’s concerns by another seem to have triggered global vigilance by the World Advent Temple Congregations of Holy Evangelistic Revelation, most often known as the WATCHERS. Their motto “Keep ALERT!” has led to global reports of world-ending desolation.

It also appears that what this newest cult is keeping is vast amounts of pharma produce. Keeping ALERT is synonymous with alcohol, LSD, ecstasy, rocket fuel, and tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). Using these pharmacological entheogens, the WATCHERs believe that they are able to enter what they call the met’atmosphere where they are able to encounter the cosmic forces that are caustically polluting our sacred biosphere establishing a virulent, viral environment.

As these days and the news gets darker, the WATCHERs, while keeping ALERT, are planning to meet on an undesignated down somewhere in Great Britain on Solstice Eve in a ritual event to raise the Great King who will save the world from all evils. It is expected that the Arthurian Pendragon realm with the attending roundtable knighthood will conquer Mordred and all other evils to bring in the New Camelot. They are also hoping to resurrect the Brooks Stevens Excalibur thus withdrawing it from its obscurity of stone-cold auto history.

“We are the doorkeepers of the world with important work to do,” said Otto O’Dules, a local Watcher. “Because the WATCHERs are committed to hyper vigilance, you can most often find us at local coffee shops where double shot espressos are being sold. We are the nervous shakers who are simply trying to keep alert and sober too.”

They’ll be watching you! They watch when you are sleeping. They know when you’re awake. They know the cosmic bad and good; so be good, and good news make.